There’s no soft way to put this – toxic parents are destroying their children’s lives to the brink of suicide. One could envision a home as a safe haven, a comforting nest away from the jagged edges of the outside world. However, tragically for a considerable percentage of the younger generation, home could well be synonymous with hell. Every time a suicide takes place, our community finds it easy to point the finger towards failed romantic relationships or societal pressures. We tend to skim over a sinister underbelly: the role of toxic parents. What if the deepest roots of despair emerge not from the world outside but within the supposed sanctuary of a home?
Our children, our most vulnerable populace, are succumbing to silent battles waged in the confines of their own homes. In these supposedly safe havens, the toxicity of the deadliest kind thrives. I’m not speaking about toxic substances, I’m referring to toxic parenting – an insidious menace that affects mental health, sometimes leading children to the brink of suicide. Every parent knows the enormous responsibility attached to bringing up a child. Still, a disturbing rise in youth suicides around the globe shows a fraction of parents breaching the inherent sanctity of this obligation. Often the inadvertent carriers of profound damage, these toxic parents require immediate scrutiny. Our society’s unflinching resolve to defend children’s rights now lies heavily on demystifying this alarmingly overlooked factor of child suicide.
Multiple research studies have unveiled the painful truth – children who live in abusive, negligent, or hostile family environments are at a greater risk of developing suicidal tendencies. Psychologists from the University of Manchester and the University of South Wales conducted an extensive analysis of 68 studies, revealing that individuals who experienced childhood emotional abuse or neglect are two and a half times more likely to attempt suicide. According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW), around one-third of female suicides and self-harm incidents can be traced back to child abuse and neglect, with the figure dropping to a quarter for males.
In a related study by the National Institutes of Health, it was found that the likelihood of suicide attempts was 2.56 times higher among those reporting a history of child abuse, compared to those without such experiences. Out of those who attempted suicide, a staggering 80.1% had reported instances of child abuse. These devastating statistics reveal an alarming concern about how adverse home environments can precipitate suicidal tendencies among our youth. Some characteristics of toxic parenting include bias, manipulation, emotional or physical abuse, control, negligence, or consistent rejection. All of these tactics wreak havoc on a child’s emotional well-being.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between 10 and 34 years old in 2019. Yet, most societies maintain a conspiracy of silence around this escalating menace, masking the extent of its debilitating consequences on their offspring. These children interpret toxicity as an affirmation of their lack of worth, instigating a lethal emotional cascade that leads them down a road of desolation and loneliness. The battle these children wage in the fight to secure their mental health is grim and daunting, an uphill trek many do not survive.
The American Psychological Association (APA) also notes that children who experience repeated trauma from toxic parents can develop a severe psychological condition called complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), which could propel suicide ideation. Emotional neglect, cruel criticism, and unbearable expectations from toxic parents often fester into internalised, damaging beliefs that their children are fundamentally unworthy. This disturbing reality urges an immediate call to action. Society should heighten its vigilance to discern and address signs of toxic parenting. Increasing the availability of support groups, accessible therapy options, and appropriate education for parents could help mitigate this issue. One such proactive step is parenting education programs, such as Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, which demonstrates a 22-44% decrease in problem behaviour in children, according to the National Institute of Health (NIH).
For every life hanging on this precarious edge is not just an individual tragedy, but a societal failure to heed the desperate pleas echoed from the heart of their silenced pain. The horror must cease, and it begins by lending an empathetic ear, fostering open conversations, and transforming destructive patterns towards hope and healing. This is not to accuse all parents of their children’s suicides. The point of the article is to illuminate an often ignored aspect that requires community-wide awareness, especially since suicide rates have soared alarmingly. In India, a 2019 report published in The Lancet Public Health indicated that 37 percent of such cases are youth aged between 15-39 years.
Home, in an ideal scenario, is a haven, a place of solace where one finds love, comfort, and a sense of belonging. But what happens when that sanctuary transforms into a theatre of verbal abuse, neglect, manipulation, excessive control, and hostility? Children who grow up under such toxicity may eventually crumble under emotional distress and are at an increased risk of suicidal tendencies, self-harm, depression, and other mental health problems. Our culture gives undue leverage to parents, shielding their wrongs in the guise of disciplining their children.
Kashmir, specifically, has seen a significant rise in teen suicides over the last few years. Family and community awareness programs need to address this issue. Professionals need to provide resources to help toxic parents understand the impacts of their behaviours and improve their parenting practices. We need to pull the veil back from the alarming role that toxic parents play in youth suicides. Society must engage in a candid dialogue about parental responsibility and their significant influence on the mental health of children.
Mental health should never be the elephant in the room; it should be a primary concern on every level – family, school, society, and government. If we dare to dive deep beyond the surface and truly explore the roots of these increasing suicides, perhaps we will uncover a simple, heartbreaking truth – sometimes, monsters don’t lurk in the shadows; they sleep in the next room.

The writer can be reached at [email protected]

Mahoor Haya Shah