Explore practical tips and techniques to manage stress in everyday life, from identifying sources of stress to incorporating relaxation, exercise, and healthy lifestyle choices for improved mental and physical health

In today’s society, stress and change often are thought of as the same thing. Stress is a physiological and psychological response to a change in a situation that the body and mind find to be overwhelming. With the fast pace of work and home, being constantly inundated with technology and still wanting to have time to connect with those around you, life can feel overwhelming and stressful at times. Studies estimate that stress costs U.S. businesses an estimated $300 billion annually, and the workplace has been identified as the number one source of stress for American workers in as much as stress is one of the most daunting obstacles to employee engagement in the modern workplace.
Stress is a part of everyday life. These days it’s hard not to get overwhelmed once in a while. Between juggling work, family, and other commitments, you can become too stressed out and busy. But you need to set time aside to unwind or your mental and physical health can suffer. Learning how to manage your stress takes practice, but you can – and need to – do it. Of course, not everyone responds to each sensory experience in the same way. The key to quick stress relief is to experiment and discover the unique sensory experiences that work best for you.
There never seem to be enough hours in a day. And in those few hours, you are loaded with deadlines, responsibilities, errands and expectations. With stress weighing you down, daily tasks get harder and harder to handle – like a heavy backpack getting heavier as the day goes on. Practising these simple four (4A) steps can help to provide balance for a healthier, happier daily lifestyle and alleviate stress levels.
1. Avoid
Believe it or not, it is possible to escape some of the minor stressors that tend to trouble people by taking control of the stress that fills your day by finding ways to make the situation better. For example, if your commute is stressful, try buying a new CD to make it more enjoyable. Create distance between you and something that causes stress. If a co-worker continually irritates you, create physical distance between the two of you. And of course, say no when necessary.
2. Alter
Communicate clearly and let people know your expectations. It can make a world of difference. Respectfully ask someone to alter how they are treating you. Remember to use “I” statements when addressing someone about how you feel. State your limitations in advance. For example, you can say, “I only have five minutes to talk.”
3. Accept
Accepting the situation can ease much of the stress when avoiding and altering doesn’t work. Talk with someone about how you are feeling. Call a friend, get coffee with a relative or schedule an appointment with a therapist. Forgive yourself or others. It is an important element of accepting stressful situations and moving on is easier than sitting around stressing about uncontrollable situations.
4. Adapt
Changing your standards and expectations of stressful situations can help you cope with stress. Don’t strive for perfection. Instead, make reasonable substitutes throughout your daily life. Choose dinners that are easier to prepare and still make your family happy. Don’t replay stressful situations over and over in your head. Choose to focus on the positive aspects of your life. Change your perspective by asking yourself if the stressor will matter in five years.
Apart from the above 4A general rule, if it may seem like there’s nothing you can do about stress at work and home, there are more detailed steps given by way of tips you can take to destress and regain control.
Identify the sources of stress in your life
Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as straightforward as it sounds. While it’s easy to identify major stressors such as changing jobs, moving, or going through a divorce, pinpointing the sources of chronic stress can be more complicated. It’s all too easy to overlook how your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours contribute to your everyday stress levels. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines, but maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that is causing the stress.
To identify what’s really stressing you out, look closely at your habits, attitudes, and excuses like blaming other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional. Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control. A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, make a note of it in your journal or use a stress tracker on your phone. Keeping a daily log will enable you to see patterns and common themes.
Cut out unhealthy ways of dealing with stress
Many of us feel so stressed out that we resort to unhealthy and unproductive ways to cope. A lot of these unhelpful strategies can temporarily reduce stress, but in the long run, they actually cause even more damage: smoking, drinking too much, or using drugs to relax; bingeing on junk or comfort food; zoning out for hours in front of the TV or phone; withdrawing from friends, family, and social activities; sleeping too much; filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems; procrastinating; taking out your stress on others like lashing out, angry outbursts and physical violence. If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones that leave you feeling calm and in control.
Get moving
When you’re stressed, the last thing you probably feel like doing is getting up and exercising. But physical activity is a huge stress reliever – and you don’t have to be an athlete or spend hours in a gym to experience the benefits. Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good, and it can also serve as a valuable distraction from your daily worries. While you’ll get the most benefit from regularly exercising for 30 minutes or more, it’s okay to build up your fitness level gradually. Even very small activities can add up over the course of a day. The first step is to get yourself up and moving. Here are some easy ways to incorporate exercise into your daily schedule: put on some music and dance around; take your dog for a walk; walk or cycle to the grocery store; use the stairs at home or work rather than an elevator; park your car in the farthest spot in the lot and walk the rest of the way; pair up with an exercise partner and encourage each other as you work out; play ping-pong or an activity-based video game with your kids. Deal with stress with mindful rhythmic exercise.
Connect to others
There is nothing more calming than spending quality time with another human being who makes you feel safe and understood. In fact, face-to-face interaction triggers a cascade of hormones that counteracts the body’s defensive “fight-or-flight” response. It is nature’s natural stress reliever. So, make it a point to connect regularly – and in person – with family and friends. Keep in mind that the people you talk to don’t have to be able to fix your stress. They simply need to be good listeners. And try not to let worries about looking weak or being a burden keep you from opening up. The people who care about you will be flattered by your trust. It will only strengthen your bond. Of course, it’s not always realistic to have a pal close by to lean on when you feel overwhelmed by stress, but by building and maintaining a network of close friends you can improve your resiliency to life’s stressors.
Suggestions for building relationships: reach out to a colleague at work; help someone else by volunteering; have lunch or coffee with a friend; ask a loved one to check in with you regularly; accompany someone to the movies or a concert; call or email an old friend; go for a walk with a workout buddy; schedule a weekly dinner date; meet new people by taking a class or joining a club; confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach.
Make time for fun and relaxation
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by carving out “me” time. Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you will be in a better place to handle life’s stressors. Do set aside leisure time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
Do something you enjoy every day
Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike. Keep your sense of humour. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways. Take up a relaxation practice. Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing activate the body’s relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite of the fight or flight or mobilization stress response. As you learn and practice these techniques, your stress levels will decrease and your mind and body will become calm and centred.
Manage your time better
Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. Plus, you’ll be tempted to avoid or cut back on all the healthy things you should be doing to keep stress in check, like socializing and getting enough sleep. The good news: there are things you can do to achieve a healthier work-life balance. Don’t over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take. Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to do and tackle them in order of importance. Do the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant or stressful to do, get it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a result.
Break projects into small steps
If a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-by-step plan. Focus on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at once and delegating responsibility. You don’t have to do it all yourself, whether at home, school or on the job. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the process.
Maintain balance with a healthy lifestyle
There are other healthy lifestyle choices that can increase your resistance to stress. Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day. Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary “highs” caffeine and sugar provide often end with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head-on and with a clear mind. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.
Learn to relieve stress in the moment
When you’re frazzled by your morning commute, stuck in a stressful meeting at work, or fried from another argument with your spouse, you need a way to manage your stress levels right now. That’s where quick stress relief comes in. The fastest way to reduce stress is by taking a deep breath and using your senses – what you see, hear, taste, and touch—or through a soothing movement. By viewing a favourite photo, smelling a specific scent, listening to a favourite piece of music, tasting a piece of gum, or hugging a pet, for example, you can quickly relax and focus on yourself.
Bhushan Lal Razdan, formerly of the Indian Revenue Service, retired as Director General of Income Tax (Investigation), Chandigarh. Post-retirement, he is actively associated with medical, educational, cultural and heritage issues and joined various societies and trusts to promote these objectives. Occasionally he contributes articles of contemporary relevance in Newspapers and Magazines. He is also the Chairman, of Vitasta Health Care Trust. He can be reached at [email protected]

B L Razdan