The cause of poor self-confidence is the outcome of poor decisions in life

To improve self-confidence, one needs to work on the following four important parameters:
• strengths in life
• weakness in life
• opportunities in life
• challenges in life
Here, I want to share a story to highlight the importance of the bullet points above-mentioned. Some incidents break us and deform us but they can also mould us into the best version of ourselves. It happened to me when I was in the 12th standard. Due to certain reasons, I was terribly stressed. It ended up as a kind of clinical depression, as suggested by the doctors. The incident deteriorated my health and I could not attend my classes on regular basis. My health did not support me to continue my studies for a year. I was feeling sad alone and I started questioning my existence. Why was I even alive? That time, the powerful words of my father helped me to come out of the state of gloom. My father told me that this, too, shall pass. God has a greater plan for you. He said that he did not know what it was but God must have a plan for you to shine in life. And that was when I realized that words had the power to heal the soul. In all that stress and grief somehow those words had some magical effect and kept me going. After one year, I got admitted to a college that was my dream. That day, I decided that I was going to fight my fears. I decided to work for myself and to make myself strong.
This incident taught me the lesson that one should love oneself in difficult and fragile times. I also received encouragement to explore my strengths and use them to be the best version of myself. This incident guided me to identify my weaknesses and improve on them to be more compatible with the external environment. I thought that, as the crown of creation, we should always explore the opportunities in life and grab them when they knock at our doors. We must learn to adjust to new situations to prove ourselves while using our capacity, competency, and values. All this comes with challenges but these challenges must not be stumbling blocks but the stepping stones to tread on the journey of success. We should not become like rolling stones, changing our decision in every new situation. We need to accept ourselves the way we are to be happy and successful in life.
The cause of poor self-confidence is the outcome of poor decisions in life. It is feeling inferior, which is the biggest hurdle that restricts us. The most important thing is to remember that an inferiority complex is entirely due to one’s imagination, where one imagines that others notice, observe and take cognizance of our every shortcoming. Unfortunately, this is a wrong assumption taken for granted by the affected person. This type of person is also in the fear of being a failure. It is also feeling concerned about shortcomings, our inability to communicate, and our confusion in making informed decisions as independent individuals.
When we are in the middle of low self-esteem, the manifestation of poor self-confidence is markedly high in our behaviour. An individual who suffers from an inferiority complex is lacking in self-confidence. The lack of self-confidence makes a person self-doubtful, a person who overthinks what others think about him or her. The presence of this complex may manifest in shyness, over-sensitiveness, loneliness, fear, a tendency to speak lies, and so on. This leads to mental frustrations and severe disappointments.
This is a serious impediment on the path to progress and success in life. It should be rid of at the earliest. If we make our mindset positive, the negative complexes can be cured easily, completely, and effectively.
The most important step to attaining self-confidence is to turn your interest and concern towards others instead of worrying about yourself. Think outwardly and think of others and their needs, problems, and difficulties. The more we know about people, the more they talk about their problems, and the more we listen, learn and appreciate, the greater will be our knowledge and the stronger our self-confidence.
The attitude of gratitude, empathy, sincerity, and kindness are things that add grace, impact, and charisma to our personality and help us to come out of poor self-esteem. This also leads to the building of character on an ethical basis.
We should take calculated risks in life so that we become fearless to face the complexities of the world. We also need to be culturally sensitive to the norms and beliefs in the society where we live in, in order to be compatible with it.
Secondly, procrastination is the most harmful thing that pulls us down while pursuing our aims. We should plunge into the assigned tasks with real enthusiasm. Our communication skills can be of great importance in helping us build our self-confidence. Speaking, listening, reading, and writing for a good amount of time must be our priority to improve our expression. We must organise our life, and plan on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. We need to stick to one goal and follow it to conclusion. If we want to be successful, we should never succumb to the disease of indifference toward the core essentials and areas of concern in our life.
We also need to think positively and be critical thinkers, collaborators, creative and effective communicators to grow holistically.
Summing it up, working on our strengths, weakness, opportunities, and challenges improves our self-confidence. The cause of poor self-confidence must be identified so that steps are taken to address its adverse manifestations. This will be a certain guarantee of success in the dreams and desires we crave in life. I conclude with this beautiful quote: “Self-confidence is the foundation of all great success and achievements”.

The writer is a student at Govt Women’s College, MA Road, Srinagar

Sheikh Nazarat Gulzar