Parenthood is often described as one of life’s greatest joys and challenges. It’s a journey filled with love, laughter, tears, and responsibility. As parents, we strive to provide the best possible upbringing for our children, nurturing them into confident, compassionate, and successful individuals. Central to this endeavour is the concept of equitable parenthood – the principle of treating all children fairly and justly. In this article, we will explore what equitable parenthood entails, why it’s important, and how parents can implement it in their families.
Equitable parenthood is more than just treating all children equally; it’s about fairness and justice in the way parents interact with and raise their children. It acknowledges that each child is unique, with their own personality, strengths, weaknesses, and needs. Therefore, equitable parenting involves tailoring our approach to meet the individual needs of each child while ensuring fairness across the board.
Many people confuse equality with equity when it comes to parenting. While equality means treating everyone the same, equity means giving each person what they need to succeed. In the context of parenting, this distinction is crucial. Treating all children equally might seem fair on the surface, but it overlooks the fact that each child has different requirements and circumstances. For example, providing the same amount of financial support to each child might not be equitable if one child has special needs or aspirations that require additional resources.
Equitable parents recognize and celebrate the individuality of each child. They understand that one-size-fits-all parenting approaches rarely work and that what works for one child might not work for another. Instead, they tailor their parenting strategies to suit the unique needs and characteristics of each child. For example, they might adjust their communication style, discipline methods, and educational support based on each child’s personality, interests, and developmental stage.
Communication is key to achieving equitable parenthood. Parents should create an environment where children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or reprisal. Open communication fosters trust, strengthens relationships and allows parents to better understand their children’s needs. Regular family meetings, one-on-one conversations, and active listening are effective ways to promote open communication within the family.
One of the biggest challenges in equitable parenthood is avoiding favouritism. Parents may unintentionally show favouritism towards one child over another, leading to feelings of resentment and inequality among siblings. To avoid this, parents must be mindful of their actions and ensure that they treat all children with fairness and impartiality. Here are some strategies for avoiding favouritism:
Spend quality one-on-one time with each child to strengthen your bond and show that you value them individually.
Acknowledge and celebrate each child’s achievements, no matter how big or small, to boost their self-esteem and confidence.
Provide support and encouragement to each child in pursuing their interests and goals, whether it is academic, artistic or athletic.
Apply discipline and consequences consistently and fairly among all children, ensuring that rules and expectations are clear and enforced impartially.
Equitable parents are mindful of how they distribute resources among their children, including time, attention, affection, and material goods. While it’s natural for parents to have different relationships with each child and to spend more time with those who need it most, it’s important to ensure that all children feel valued and included. Here are some tips for fair resource allocation:
Allocate quality one-on-one time to each child regularly, engaging in activities they enjoy and fostering meaningful connections.
Be present and attentive when interacting with each child, listening actively and responding with empathy and understanding.
Express love and affection to each child in ways that resonate with them, whether it’s through words of affirmation, physical touch, or acts of service.
Avoid showing favouritism when buying gifts or providing privileges. Consider each child’s needs and preferences when allocating resources.
Equitable parents set fair and realistic expectations for each child, taking into account their individual abilities, interests, and circumstances. While it’s important to encourage children to strive for excellence, it’s equally important to recognize and appreciate their efforts and progress, regardless of the outcome. Here are some guidelines for setting fair expectations:
Help each child set goals that are appropriate and achievable based on their abilities and interests.
Provide encouragement and support to help children overcome challenges and reach their goals, celebrating their successes along the way.
Be flexible and adaptable in adjusting expectations as children grow and develop, recognizing that their interests and priorities may change over time.
Accept each child for who they are, celebrating their uniqueness and respecting their individuality, even if it diverges from your own expectations or ideals.
Equitable parenthood fosters a sense of unity and cooperation among siblings. When children feel that they are treated fairly and equally by their parents, they are more likely to develop strong bonds with their siblings and support each other through thick and thin. Here are some ways to promote sibling unity:
Encourage siblings to work together towards common goals and to support each other in their endeavours.
Teach children healthy ways to resolve conflicts and disagreements, emphasizing communication, compromise, and empathy.
Ensure that all children feel included and valued within the family, avoiding favouritism or exclusionary behaviour.
Create opportunities for siblings to bond through shared experiences, such as family outings, vacations, and traditions.
Equitable parenthood is a fundamental aspect of effective parenting. By treating all children fairly and justly, parents can nurture strong, healthy, and fulfilling relationships with their children and promote their emotional, social, and cognitive development. While achieving equitable parenthood requires conscious effort and commitment, the rewards – happy, confident, and well-adjusted children – are well worth it. By embracing the principles of equitable parenthood, parents can create a loving and supportive environment where all children can thrive and reach their full potential.
The writer is a teacher in the Department Of Education and can be reached at [email protected]

 Ishtiyaq Rashid