They don’t know it but they held my hand when I was at my worst, showed me light when all I could see was darkness, and most of all, made me realise my true potential when I truly thought I was worthless

When I was a in 11th grade, I made a list of things that I wanted to do in my lifetime. Among those one was like, “To change someone’s life and become a cause of someone’s life”. It never seemed possible. I thought, how could a normal human being change someone’s life? But now that I am at this stage of my life where I’ve realized that not only is it possible but it has happened to me. Someone has changed my life. Now I want to be a teacher, because I’ve witnessed myself how a teacher can change a student’s life, how a teacher can bring light in darkness, how a teacher can change minds. I truly want to be like my teachers because they are the reason behind every good change in my life.
Let me tell you my story first. I had so many flaws, I can’t even begin to name them. I was and still am that shy girl who even at this age is afraid to go out shopping. I never believed in myself, I was never confident enough to express all my thoughts. Every compliment I received felt like a lie. I didn’t even know who I was or what my abilities were or what to do with my life. At an early age, I already felt like, I couldn’t go on anymore, as if I had lived my share of life. And even now, I have this dismal personality that I feel weak often and need comforting because I often feel dissatisfied with myself. But my teachers are always there to protect me from my own bitterness. Had they not guided me, I would have been completely lost by now.
Today, as it is Teachers’ Day, I won’t go about telling the importance of this day or its history. I’ve been intending to only thank my teachers. I want to tell them that without them I wouldn’t have been me. They don’t know it but they held my hand when I was at my worst, showed me light when all I could see was darkness, and most of all, made me realise my true potential when I truly thought I was worthless. They have done so much for me that I don’t even know enough words to thank them.
You might wonder what kind of self-realisation I am talking about. How have they given me a direction to follow? Let me tell you, I didn’t know I was a writer, I didn’t even know I was someone. During quarantine, I started writing columns for a newspaper because I had nothing else to do. I didn’t think it was a big deal, which of course it wasn’t. But once when I posted one of my articles in the college group, Asgar sir was the first one to appreciate me. He has always been so generous. Asgar sir kept on encouraging me to write more. He told me to write short stories. To this day I haven’t t understood how he knew I could write short stories, because even I didn’t know! He has given so much love and respect to my art. He always makes me feel as if I am the best writer of the world. He saw a poet in me even when I didn’t. And when I wrote my first poem, even though it wasn’t that good, he appreciated me as if it was the best poem he had ever read. Even when I write really horrible things, he still says he’s proud of me. He’s such a great mentor, I can’t explain how blessed I feel every day to have him in my life. Whatever I have written till this day, it’s because of him. Other than teaching me how to be a good writer, he has taught me how to be brave, how to express myself, how to be happy and, most of all, how to love myself. Never has he doubted my skills for a single second. And his one advice that I’ll always remember is, “When you are good at something, own it and show people that you own it”. I thank God every day for bringing me under Asgar sir’s guidance. No doubt he is my guardian angel, always there to protect me and show me the right direction.
Luqman sir has been an amazing guide. He has also equally contributed in making me a writer. He’s made me a better poet, a better storyteller, a better speaker and also a better person. When I feel low and incapable of doing things, he tells me that I am the best, consoles me when I feel worthless, and when I really need someone to encourage me, he’s always there for me. Whenever I give a presentation or anything, he’s the first one to tell me that I did a great job and that he’s proud of me. I didn’t even know a teacher can do that much for a student until I met him. He’s been an excellent teacher and a friend simultaneously. He’s so kind and warm hearted, I admire him in numerous ways.
Also, Rayees sir, who always trusts me. Whenever I write, even silly things, he says he learn something from them. And that’s the biggest compliment for me. I want to be calm and composed like him. Altaf sir has always been generous about my writing. His responsible and yet decent personality inspires me all the time.
How can people be that good? My teachers have entirely changed my life in a positive sense. I don’t remember what I was before I met them. When I passed my 12th, I wanted to quit my studies, mainly because I had almost lost interest in life. I felt worthless and studying any further felt like wastage of money. I begged my father to just let me quit my studies. But he ordered me and I couldn’t do anything about it. Now that I think back to those days, I laugh at my stupidity. I was forced to join this college and now because of my great teachers, I feel like coming to this college was the best decision of my life. Had it not been for this college, I would have never gotten the chance to learn from such amazing people. Now I believe, all is for the best.
I always wanted people to be proud of me. I know my parents are proud of me, my sisters, they are also proud of me. But they never say it out aloud. But my teachers, they just never stop telling me how proud they are of me. Deep inside my heart, I feel an ocean of happiness whenever they say it. How much should I thank them, I don’t even know.
I want to work hard, I want to achieve heights in life, I want to be a successful writer, not for me but them. Because not for a moment have they stopped trusting my mad writing skills. If ever I do great things in life, I’ll only owe it to them. I owe them my life. In every way, I want to be like them. Every day, I learn something new from them which inspires me in a thousand different ways.
Once again I want to say, happy teachers’ day, you are doing an amazing job. You all inspire me and push me to be a better person. Because of you I’ve learned to see things in a different light. Like me you’ve saved hundreds of students and showed them light and I know you’ll keep doing that. Thank you for making me who I am today and thank you for being you. Thank you for telling me that it’s okay to be different, thank you for respecting individuality, thank you for making me realise that I too am capable of achieving great things in life and a big thank you for making my life worth living. You make life beautiful just by being in it. I thank God every day, for giving me so many blessings. I wish you all the happiness in the world because you all deserve it and keep doing what you are doing and always be who you are because the world out there needs teachers like you badly. Love you all to bits.

The writer is a BA student at Govt Degree College (Women) Kupwara

SHAFIYA SHOWKAT