After losing a parent or parents what we need to do is become guardians of ourselves, overcome societal prejudices and move on! That is what ‘resilience in chaos’ means.
Living life as an orphan is very difficult, especially for a girl; but life is after all about struggle; so don’t be afraid; never lose courage.
Let’s talk about orphanhood today. Being an orphan is not a sin. Life can take unexpected turns, and losing loved ones can be incredibly tough. Taking care of oneself and family becomes a challenging responsibility, especially in today’s world, where difficulties abound. For a girl, navigating life without parents is incredibly difficult, as she has to safeguard herself and her family in a world where negativity prevails. Managing a household while ensuring personal safety becomes a heavy responsibility.
It was in 2010 that I lost both my parents: my father passed away, and a few months later, my mother remarried. I don’t know why she took that step (perhaps due to our financial situation or the pressures of society). I can’t forget those dark nights; the agony of thinking about my little innocent sister; worrying about my brother’s future. It was an incredibly tough time as we, as siblings, drifted apart, each going our own way, scattered by this pain. No one can truly understand this pain.
When my father passed away and my mother remarried, I was in the 5th grade, my elder brother was in the 8th, and I can’t recall what grade my younger brother was in at that time. My little innocent sister was still on the feeder then. And today, as I write this, we have all grown up and become mature. That little sister who used to feed on milk then is now in the 8th grade, and I am pursuing a master’s degree. I’ve often felt exhausted and defeated by this struggle, constantly worried about my siblings, but every time, I rose back up. I never lost courage, believing that whatever trials God puts me through, He will surely bring me out of them, for He is the Merciful, the Kind and the Most Compassionate. Not only that, but I put my trust in Him as He is the giver and taker of life, holding both honour and humility and providing sustenance. So, why should I worry? People will keep talking, trying to bring you down and I repeat this living life as an orphan is very difficult, especially for a girl. But you must remember that life is full of ups and downs; it’s all about struggle. Don’t be afraid; never lose courage. They say victory lies beyond fear, and when you fall, that’s when you rise.
I always yearned that I could be with my family where my parents and siblings together. But that’s like a fictional dream that never comes true. However, I think that even though Allah took my parents away, in return, He gave me foster parents (Ammiji and Abu) and siblings who never let me feel like I was an orphan. They have always supported me, showing me the right path. May Allah grant them all the happiness in the world, keep them healthy, and alleviate all their worries. They are the reason for who I am today, and they taught me that being an orphan is not a sin.
An orphan child is often introverted; speaks less, laughs and plays less, sometimes gets into mischief, and their hearts get hurt very easily. Sometimes, small things affect them so deeply that nobody can understand their pain. Never show more love to your own children in front of an orphan; never express your love and care for your parents in front of them; never say something like ‘this child is an orphan’ after giving something to an orphan child. It makes them feel that being an orphan is a huge sin. Never let them feel that they are orphans, I swear to God, upon hearing this or feeling this, the pain that child goes through, I cannot express it.
Whenever I feel unprivileged or unlucky for being an orphan I remember my beloved Prophet (PBUH), who is our ultimate role model. He lost His father when He wasn’t even born and his mother when he had attained the age of just six (6). So being an orphan is a testament from Almighty Lord to check our resilience and strength.
After losing a parent or parents what we need to do is become guardians of ourselves, overcome societal prejudices and move on! That is what “resilience in chaos” means.
The writer is pursuing a Master’s from the Central University of Kashmir. Feedback at sh************@***il.com