Whosoever enters this world has to depart, but a vacuum is left by the departure of our beloved ones
I still remember the winter days when we were living jointly in our Balgarden home. Because there wasn’t a separate room for us, I and my brother used to sleep with my grandparents (Abba & Booba). My grandfather, who was known in the locality as “Abba Khan” (because there were other elders in Balgarden whom we used to call Abba, so we used to call different Abbas with their caste names), used to keep the radio on, stationing Radio Pakistan or Radio Azad Kashmir, and sleep. It irritated me many a time, because I was not able to sleep due to the radio’s sound. But my Abba used to fall asleep, or rather, was not able to sleep without the radio running. When sometimes I felt that Abba had fallen asleep, I used to creep slowly and put the radio off, but there was Abba awake again: “Who put the radio off?” he would ask.
Although it might have been irritating for me at that time, I miss those instances with my Abba badly. And my loving grandmother, Booba, used to take care of us during the nights in every respect. My dearest grandmother who used to save for me “Waaza Natiheen” (the Wazwaan meat she used to take back to her home when at some wedding party) even if I was away from my home for two days. She used to wait for me and give me my share. I miss her helping me eating “Batta” (rice) when leaving for school. I assure you that it never tastes so good when eating with my own hands. Believe me, my heart is full and my eyes filled while I am recalling and writing this beautiful memory.
Now comes the turn of my loving and beautiful mother: the mother whom we cannot recompense in any way. I have seen mothers care about their children, but, believe me, I have not seen a mother as caring as mine was. Even my wife does not care about our children the way my mother used to care about us. During winters she used to enter our room, when we were in our beds, and looked after our bedding to see whether it was fine and protecting us from the chilly winter cold. She virtually used to look for all openings in the windows and would close them lest we feel cold. Many a time, it was irritating and annoying for both of us, and we used to beg her to leave us for sleeping. Booba used to tell her that we are fine and asked her not to bother herself, but she never listened out of unprecedented love for us.
We are older now, so old that we have our own siblings, but, Wallah, I miss my mother entering my room and checking my bedding during this winter. She died fighting stomach cancer for around four years, on 11th December 2019. She fought bravely, but ultimately was defeated and left for the heavenly abode. Her departure was a serious loss and crack in our home. I was with her during her last days, and tried to do what I was supposed to do, but finally all I was able to do was to lead (be Imam) in her funeral prayers (Salat-ul-Janazah). I always feel that I did not do what I was supposed to do. May Allah Forgive me my shortcomings, Aameen!
This is the reality of life and Qadar-ul-Allah (Will of Allah), whosoever enters this world has to depart. But a vacuum is left by the departure of our beloved ones. I miss my Abba’s “roar” when I used to go visit him at Balgarden: “Is anybody here? Irfan has come. Bring him something to eat”. But now when I enter that home, there is no roar. I miss my Booba compelling me to sit down and have tea at least. I miss my mother forcing to eat my lunch. May Allah Place all of them in Jannat-ul-Firdous, and reunite us all, Aameen!
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