How financial empowerment without emotional intelligence is diminishing womanhood
How well did we actually interpret the term economic independence at the societal level? Has this type of economic independence enhanced the quality of present lives? Or are we failing at life skills due to the misinterpretation of this concept?
I, as an individual, as a citizen, have been monitoring that we, as women, are failing at life skills while feeding the phenomenon of economic independence. Despite all, I, being a woman, addressing women at loss, have consumed plenty of my time, research, and energy to scrutinise the impact of this concept on the quality of life. I would definitely like to express my viewpoint on what makes me talk so—it is only because we all can see the deterioration in life standards. Besides casual onlookers, we must observe the impact of every trend that precisely marks its presence.
The phenomenon so termed as economic independence has been spreading its wings for quite a long time now. We are definitely bestowed with what we manifest most sincerely. I, as a woman, feel the urge to redefine what women’s empowerment means and how we have incorporated economic independence into it, leaving no room for the most required life skill.
Women of the present generation have prioritised economic or financial independence over everything. Is it too much to discuss the factors that govern the worsening of life quality at a higher risk than ever? On one hand, we see women rising to new heights, women crossing oceans and walking borders, yet we, as women, are losing the most basic skill we are precisely capable of. However, at the zenith of our lives, this leading ideology of financial independence has cost us our basic capabilities. On a concise note, we are letting something overpower us as the most valuable living creatures that were created with such precision.
No offence, but I can quote some familiar examples that the current generation of women is lacking. Despite being doctors, lawyers, professors, pilots, CEOs, and whatnot, there is something called life skills. If I am to dig into it more, it’s the capability to lead life with pace, utilising time and energy to enhance the quality of life as an asset, not as a machine. We, as women, were created serene, calm, yet powerful and soothing. No longer do we dream of something that could be achieved without investing our youth in the struggle for financial independence.
If we contrarily imagine the lives of past generations, we see the tranquillity in lives, the slow motion of time, composure in behaviours, the fragrance of love, joyful kids, and blooming youth. Besides, nowadays, we find the opposite. We often see a rise in divorce rates, abortions, drug addiction, crime rates, etc. All this is directly or indirectly related to the negligence shown by the concerned parents, mentors, elders, and masters.
Neither am I generalising this scenario, nor do I condemn the ideology of economic independence as unreal. I only offer a constructive approach to us, as women, that we are not defined by the amount of money we earn, and not by the luxurious lifestyles we are living. The real talent comes into play when we, at ground level, are supposed to apply our life skills to offer solutions in the existing affairs of life.
We are defined by the amount of emotional quotient we come up with when, despite having luxurious lives, we fail as humans in certain situations. We are totally defined by the amount of mercy we shower on those who have nothing to offer us. We are equally defined by the grace we carry ourselves when we are at our lowest. We are particularly defined by how well we raise our kids as humans to carry forward the values as assets.
We are not meant to compete with men—we are both physically and emotionally different creatures. In other words, by life skill, we mean the ability of a person to perform as a human being, which in turn generalises the amount of patience, humility, and gratitude shown by an individual in life. The ability or mindset of an individual to behave well in life, to be able to make the most crucial decisions, and have the kind of energy that offers tranquillity and grace.
The fact that I am discussing such a concept is that there are numerous cases in society where women fail to handle real-life issues. No degree, no amount of bank balance, and no luxurious lifestyle can teach us basic values. There are highly qualified females escaping their downs, disrupting the human situations where a little amount of emotional intelligence could do wonders.
Women, in the natural sense, are created with a high emotional quotient. They are less impulsive, but while we hand over to them a pen and copy at the age of two, we overburden their ability to think. We concise their thought process to only school, marks, degrees, and jobs.
Train your daughters to be true humans; everything else we have already attained. Teach them how important it is to know your mother tongue, to know what values and morals are, to understand the purpose of existence, to know what it means to be able to carry a baby inside your womb for 9 long months, to be proud of being a woman. Those are the real assets.
We need to teach our daughters, sisters, and young women that we (women) are worthy with or without the money and luxurious lifestyles. I am not against the ideology of economic independence; rather, I want women to not only orient themselves towards financial independence. We need to align our thought process to what truly matters, which means the morals and values that no amount of money can buy.
I recommend women to not drain themselves or use their entire intellect and piss themselves off for the sake of money. I want women to know their worth and not grind themselves for the sake of recognition. If nothing, men already owe their share to women, be it as sisters, wives (even divorcees), or be it as daughters.
In addition, Islam has elevated the rank of women to the point where worship is the only thing that women are not made for. Women, as daughters, are the source to Jannah for their parents; as wives, they complete half of their husbands’ deen (Imaan); as mothers, Jannah lies under their feet. What more shall we have asked for? Must we spend such precious life struggling for a temporary job or protecting and preserving what we are truly blessed with?
With concluding remarks, I suggest women uphold their dignity and worth by spending their lives wisely. Working on emotional quotient is a must-have for your sisters, daughters, or mothers. While I regain my composure, I once again suggest that women not overburden themselves for the sake of some worldly treasure. Earn something that lets you sleep peacefully at night.
The writer is a Mathematics lecturer at Government Degree College–Boys, Sopore
Dr Mir Aaliya
mi**********@***il.com