Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned: Buddha

Humans are prone to emotions of love, hate, anger, angst, etc. The society we are living in at times subjects us to many uncomely and un-homely situations by acting diametrically antipodal and contrary to our expectations, wishes and volitions. Most of the time, we get disgruntled to see that people out there are inclined to inflict some sort of pain or discomfort on us through their obnoxious acts and socially off-colour attitudes. We must maintain our mental poise and control our choler when confronting such elements. By doing so, we can save ourselves from the debilitating effects of anger and annoyance. A person, who loses his / her temper by remaining susceptible to social prodding, is surely going to sink into the unfathomable sea of social anger and its devastating cross-currents.
One must school one’s bitter bile. Once our angry self overpowers us we become its slaves. And anger, like jealousy eats out the vitals of a person and drains him emotionally and intellectually dry. So, it is important to control anger before it controls us. No doubt, anger is a healthy human emotion. But once it gets out of control and turns detrimental, it can lead to myriad problems: problems at the workplace, in one’s relationships, and in the overall quality of one’s life. Besides this, anger looms large on the character of a person and thereby cripples him socially, emotionally, intellectually and economically. Teal Swan nicely says that in modern society, anger is the emotion that is disapproved of the very most. It is so disapproved of that if someone gets angry, people do not see it as an emotion that the person is experiencing and expressing. People see it as a character or personality defect instead. Where does this anger stem? It stems from our emotions like brokenness, hindered desires, helplessness, insult, rejection, betrayal etc. We must apply logic in such situations instead of the emotion of anger or choler.
Do not let anyone make you angry, for it is said that a person who easily makes you angry becomes your master. To keep such people at bay we need not care a fig about them in any context. Once we immediately react to these people, we are making ourselves fodder for what they want. Be mindful that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won’t make one feel better but rather makes one feel worse. It has nicely been said by the American novelist; Mark Twain that anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Psychologists have researched that a person who becomes angry easily loses his/ her peace of mind which consequently leads him/her to the point of social ostracization and all that. In comparison to a short-tempered person, a socially cool and collected person carves a niche in the hearts of other people and thereby wins in every context. Keeping these things in mind, we must not lose one’s cool on petty issues. When having a bad experience or confrontation we must take a chill pill of tolerance and logic to avoid the head-on collision with it. By doing this, we can save ourselves from social insult and stigma. Remaining cool and poised in elemental situations is the key to success in this choleric and angry era.
In this era of anger and angst, people have lost control of their nerves and emotions and have thereby perished themselves both socially and psychologically. To balance oneself in this anger-ridden era, we must keep one’s shirt on; doffing one’s shirt in annoyance and crossness can lead us to social and psychological devastation. Thereby hangs a tale!
Postscript: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha
The writer teaches English in School Education Department (J&K). He has done PhD and MPhil in English from AMU and has qualified UGC-NET and JKSET in English Literature. He can be mailed at: [email protected]

Dr Bilal Ahmad Dar