There were 7,628 dowry-related deaths of women in the year 2016, according to the National Crime Records Bureau. Under the Dowry Prohibition Act passed in 1961, anyone taking dowry is to be imprisoned for not less than 5 years and has to pay a fine of Rupees 15,000 or the value of the dowry received, whichever is higher. Any dowry received from the woman is to be given back to her. Nevertheless, in J&K as elsewhere in India, dowry is still rampant. Here are a few case studies of the victims of dowry in Srinagar (all names changed to protect privacy), as told by the victims themselves in conversations with this writer.

Case study 1
Demographic status: Urban
Place: Srinagar
Educational qualification: Graduate
Occupation: Clerk (private)
Age at marriage and now: 30, 36
Age difference with husband: 3 years
Qualification of husband: M.A.
Occupation of husband: Government teacher
Income of husband: Rs 20,000/month (approx.)
Type of family: Joint
Children: 0
Iqra Jan lived in Bemina in a middle-class family. Her father was a Patwari and her mother a housewife. She lived with 2 siblings and her parents. She completed her graduation and she was keen to do a job. After 2 years of struggle she got a job in an office as a clerk. Her monthly income was about Rs 5,000 to Rs 7,000. She contributed to her family expenses and also saved some money for her marriage. A mediator brought a proposal of marriage for her. Everything seemed good and the marriage was fixed. The mediator took a good amount of money for fixing the marriage. She was married to a well-qualified government teacher in Zakura area of Srinagar. Just six months after her marriage, her sister-in-law and mother-in-law asked her to provide money to them. They told her that they have no problem if she wants to continue with her job but the condition was that more than half of her salary should be given to the in-laws. When she tried to complain to her husband, he shockingly threatened her of divorce and accused her of being characterless.
Iqra was even asked to surrender her gold ornaments to her sister-in-law who was yet to get married. She was tortured by her husband and her in-laws for such demands. They also accused her of being infertile, though her relationship with her husband was deteriorating by the day. After 2 years she came to know about her husband’s extra-marital affair and when she raised voice against this, she was beaten up like an animal. Her husband was having an affair with a girl who was less than half his age and was a student of his. Iqra was asked to give divorce but she refused. She went to the Imam of a nearby masjid and requested him to look into the matter. Her husband was called and the Imam counselled him. Her mother-in-law passed away after a few months and now Iqra is living with her husband in a stressful, damaged relationship.

Case study 2
Demographic status: Urban
Place: Srinagar
Educational qualification: B.A.
Occupation: Clerk (private)
Age at marriage and now: 34, 42
Age difference with husband: 6 years
Qualification of Husband: Class 12
Occupation of Husband: Businessman
Income of Husband: Rs 16000/month (approx.)
Type of family: Joint
Children: 1
Rafia was born in Aluchibagh in a middle-class family with her father having a carpet business. All her younger brothers and sisters got married before her. She was not getting married because she had a mark on the left side of her face. She was very depressed and used to remain alone. Initially she used to go to sacred places and pray, but with the passing of time she became hopeless and stopped praying. Her mother used to take her to doctors for cosmetic surgery but nothing worked. This brought in her nature a sense of anger and exasperation. She would get irritated every time and upset with her life. Finally, she received an offer of marriage from a man who was 40 at that time and lived in Safa Kadal. She was given a piece of land in her name as dowry. She got married to the businessman in 2006. Rafia was more educated than her husband and that became her fault.
Soon after marriage, Rafia was asked to sell her land. Her husband told her that he wanted to start a new business for which he needed money. She did what she was told. After 8 months she was again asked to arrange some money from her father’s home for the establishment of the new business. She went to her father and he gave her a good amount. Her husband assured her that he would return this money, but he never did.
Rather, she was asked to get more. After a while, she refused. Now she was constantly abused and taunted. She became miserable and grew weak. Things changed when her husband came to know about her pregnancy. He started treating her well. But when she gave birth to a girl, she was ruthlessly beaten up. Finally, she decided to get separated. The case remained in court for 2 years but Rafia and her parents did not lose hope. She secured the divorce and now she is living with her daughter at her father’s home.

Case study 3
Demographic status: Urban
Place: Srinagar
Educational qualification: B.Sc.
Occupation: Teacher
Age at marriage and now: 29, 33
Age difference with Husband: 3 years
Qualification of Husband: M.Sc.
Occupation of Husband: Teacher
Income of Husband: Rs 22,000/month (approx.)
Type of family: Joint
Children: 2
Ismat belonged to Sonwar area of Srinagar. She was born in a well-off family, her father being in the forest department and her mother working as a teacher. Ismat had one brother and one sister. Masrat was the second child and she wanted to become doctor. She could not qualify for an MBBS so she did a B.Sc. After passing her graduation, she was married by her parents to a government teacher, Bilal, who lived in Dalgate area. Her husband loved her very much. They went for an outing once a week and he used to bring gifts for her often. This bliss lasted just five months. Her world turned upside down when she was asked to get 2 lakh rupees from her father. Her husband was still very nice to her. He convinced her to get the money by saying it was not for dowry but for something needed at home. She did what her husband told her. Her father gave her Rs 1.5 lakh.
Ismat soon realised that the money was not needed for any specific purpose but was simply dowry. She was so upset that she went to her father’s home and stayed there for 3 months. Her husband apologised and convinced her to come back. After 2 months she came to know that she was pregnant. Her husband was overjoyed. But her in-laws again demanded money. She somehow managed to get the money from her father and gave them, just to maintain good relations with them. With the passage of time, the demands increased. Her husband stayed silent in this matter. When she failed to meet the demands, she was mentally and physically tortured by her mother-in-law in the absence of her husband. When she gave birth to twins, her husband’s attitude changed and he started opposing his parents. Now she has managed to live separately with her husband and her children but the memories of her past still give her nightmares.

Case study 4
Demographic status: Urban
Place: Srinagar
Educational qualification: B.A.
Occupation: Teacher
Age at marriage and now: 31, 35
Age difference with Husband: 6 years
Qualification of Husband: M.Com.
Occupation of Husband: Banking Associate
Income of Husband: Rs 24,000/month (approx.)
Type of family: Joint
Children: 0
Shazia is a resident of Jawahar Nagar. She was born in a middle-class family. Her father was an office clerk. Javed Beigh (father of Shazia) lived with his wife, mother, two sons and a daughter. Shazia was brought up with more love and care than her brothers. Every kind of facility was given to her. She did her studies from a reputable institute in Srinagar. Her dream was to become a lecturer. But instantly after her graduation, she opted for a job as she wanted to be independent, even though her family gave her everything she wanted. She became a private school teacher. At the same time she wanted to pursue higher studies through correspondence, so she enrolled herself in a distance education programme. After three to four months, her paternal aunt came with a proposal of marriage with her son. Her parents did not find anything wrong with the proposal but they wanted their sons to get married first as they were elder to her, but at the same time they did not want to lose the proposal. So, they decided to engage Shazia with the said boy. Shazia also agreed as the prospective groom (Irfan) was good looking and had a good job as a banking associate. They were soon engaged.
After the engagement, Shazia and Irfan often went on dates. During this time Irfan convinced Shazia to leave her studies. Two years later her elder brother was married and, after that, Shazia got married to Irfan. For the marriage, formal gifts like ‘Kokar Majmas’, ‘Bateh Terem’, etc, were given to Irfan’s family. Sometimes Shazia felt that these were unnecessary but she was told that these were customs of marriage. After 3 months of marriage, Shazia was upset because her mother-in-law, who was also her aunt, started demanding things. She was asked to get copper items, furniture, and domestic household items. Her father was shocked when he heard of this. He was even asked to pay the family’s phone bills. Shazia’s mother was suffering from hypertension. She started blaming her husband and herself for spoiling their daughter’s life. She was so upset that she fell ill and finally she passed away.
Shazia was still being asked to get dowry but she was now fed up and refused to do so. When she became pregnant, she believed that some conspiracy had been hatched against her and she was made to undergo an abortion. Her brothers came to her help and finally she secured divorce after a legal battle of 2 years. Now she is living at her brother’s home and is working in a school to earn her livelihood.

Case study 5
Demographic status: Urban
Place: Srinagar
Educational qualification: Graduate
Occupation: Housewife
Age at marriage and now: 30, 38
Age difference with Husband: 3 years
Qualification of Husband: M.A.
Occupation of Husband: Businessman
Income of Husband: Rs 18,000/month (approx.)
Type of family: Joint
Children: 2
Asiya, a resident of Solina, was born in a middle-class family. Her father was a clerk and her mother a housewife. Asiya was good in studies and wanted to study more but her grandmother being conservative wanted her to get married soon. After her graduation, she was married to Junaid, who lived in Nowpora, some six years ago. While telling her story Asiya said that initially everything looked fine and nice. But suddenly, after the engagement, the groom’s family started to demand dowry on different excuses. Once they said that she was not much educated so she had to give something in dowry. She told them that if her lack of education was a problem then she would do post-graduation, but they refused and said that they wanted dowry and did not want her to be more educated than their son.
Asiya said that her two children were the only reason that she was living in her husband’s house. Asiya has two children, a daughter and a son. It often happens that after marriage when a child is born, the woman becomes even more bound to her husband’s house and her in-laws keep demanding more and more dowry.

General Observations
After interacting with such victims of dowry, it was clear that ‘everyone has a story to tell’. These women faced a lot of disgrace and dishonour. It was also clear that dowry is widely practised in Kashmir, even if it appears in different disguises. It has become a social malevolence and has created various economic, emotional and ethical problems in society. The dowry system is a constant financial stress on the woman’s family. Women are ill-treated and beaten for the sake of dowry. Women face physical insecurity and mental anguish when they are not able to comply with the demands of their in-laws. The husband disparages the wife and treats her horribly without considering the effect on her health and feelings. Dowry degrades a woman’s status and her parents are constantly worried about her well being. The relationship of the husband and wife is ruined and conflict is created between family members. In many instances, the husband beats, abuses and fights with his wife for the sake of dowry. Shockingly, even well-educated women were of the view that men have full authority over women.
Also, the dowry system prevents many women from getting married. It causes stress and insecurity and often women who remain unmarried for many years lose their self-respect.
Such a situation is not only unfortunate but also deplorable, as marriage is meant to be a beautiful relation. It is also a social and legal bond between two persons that binds their lives together in all aspects. But as every coin has two faces, this blissful relation can sometimes turn into a nightmare. A girl who has dreamt of her marriage as a kind of fairy tale, who imagines her husband as a prince, can have her world turned upside down when she realises what a horror it actually is. Dowry is one of the most horrendous and terrifying evils in our society which has taken deep roots. It has poisoned our social and familial environment. It is an utter nuisance to the girl’s parents. Its prevalence has made people mentally distressed and financially insecure. It is high time that this evil be seen for what it is, rather than be justified with insidious excuses.

Note: All names have been changed to protect privacy.
The writer is a student at Amar Singh College, Srinagar

SIMRANDEEP KOUR