Parents chase grades, children lose guidance and character. There is a need to recentre homes as spaces for nurturing Akhlaq and Imaan alongside academic success, ensuring success in this world and the next.
Munazah Fayaz
In today’s Kashmir, education has become a race—fast, competitive, and unforgiving. Mark sheets are celebrated, ranks are announced with pride, and careers are planned before childhood ends. In our obsession with academic results, we are forgetting what truly matters: guidance, moral values, and character.
Kashmiri parents, like parents everywhere, want the best for their children. Today, most dreams revolve around NEET, JEE, and UPSC—pathways to becoming doctors, engineers, and civil servants. Chasing these dreams and turning them into reality is not wrong; it is, in fact, beneficial for society. However, in this intense race, an essential part of life is being overlooked: honesty, humility, moral values, sincerity, and related virtues. If incorporated into the lives of younger generations who pursue their dreams for the betterment of society, such qualities will surely add a feather to society’s cap.
Increasingly, children begin to study not to understand, but to score; not to grow, but to compete; not to serve society, but to accumulate wealth. This mindset breeds stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion. This pressure does not remain limited to individuals or certain homes; it follows people throughout their lives and becomes ingrained in our social fabric. Academic coaching classes multiply in every neighbourhood, while moral guidance quietly disappears. Time once spent with family, in reflection, and in remembrance of the Creator is now consumed by tuition schedules and test series. Conversations about honesty, empathy, patience, faith, and responsibility are slowly replaced by questions like: How much did you score? Who got more marks than you? Why weren’t you topping the class?
Chasing grades makes children feel that love and care are conditional. A child is forced to think that he or she will be respected only upon achieving a certain set of marks. In contrast, religious philosophies, such as Islamic teachings, emphasise nurturing children with mercy, guidance, and character—not pressuring them to obtain material success alone.
Very few parents today actively encourage their children in the development of moral values. When worldly success is valued more than sincerity and humility, education loses its balance, and the soul begins to fade. This imbalance, in turn, fuels a variety of societal issues, including corruption and nepotism. Therefore, we must focus on moral education alongside academic learning. For instance, Islamic philosophy does not reject worldly knowledge, but it strongly emphasises that knowledge without moral grounding and sincerity can become more harmful than beneficial. Without spiritual awareness, a person remains ignorant of moral responsibilities and roles, no matter how many degrees he or she holds. Our focus, therefore, should be to nurture both the worldly and spiritual aspects of our children.
In religious tradition—exemplified by Islamic teaching—character (Akhlaq) and sincerity are developed from the mother’s lap, from the home. They are cultivated through the behaviour of parents, daily conversations, honesty in dealings, kindness in speech, and trust in relationships. Children learn far more from what they observe than from what they are instructed. If parents lie, children learn dishonesty; if parents show patience, children learn restraint; if parents pray sincerely, children learn love for Salah.
Unfortunately, in the race for marks and results, many parents forget that education without moral grounding can create success without integrity. Character is caught, not just taught. A brilliant mind without a guided heart can become dangerous to society. We must strive to create a home atmosphere that nurtures sincere and principled individuals who can contribute positively to society at large.
Let our homes once again become places of mercy and understanding, not pressure and fear. Let conversations begin with prayer and purpose, not comparison and competition. Let us build homes where Imaan grows alongside education, and character matters more than ranks.
Let us raise children not only for their careers but for their Imaan, Akhlaq, and fear of Allah—so they may succeed not only in this world but in the Hereafter as well. Grades may build careers, but only Imaan and Akhlaq build real human beings.
Let us conclude with the beautiful saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH): “A father gives his child nothing better than good character.”
The writer is a student at the Department of Zoology, Central University of Kashmir
mu********@***il.com