The Disappearance Of Manners And Haya In Students: A Modern Crisis

From disrespect in classrooms to reckless online behaviour—why today’s youth need a moral revival, and how parents and teachers can lead the way

In today’s fast-paced, technologically advanced 21st century, we are witnessing a tragic yet undeniable decline in the moral values, manners, and sense of haya (modesty) among students. As a keen observer of changing behaviours and attitudes in young individuals, I find myself deeply concerned by how far we have strayed from the path of respect, humility, and disciplined behaviour. The essence of what once made us polite, thoughtful, and responsible individuals is fading, and one of the most affected groups is our student community.

The Role of Technology in the Crisis

There’s no denying that the internet, when used wisely, can be a powerful source of knowledge and progress. Platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube offer students access to global information, innovation, and creativity. However, the darker side of this evolution has left a deep impact on the minds of young learners. Instead of becoming responsible digital citizens, many students are falling prey to the vulgarity, foul language, and toxic content that is abundantly available online.

From a very young age, children are handed smartphones and tablets by their parents— perhaps to keep them busy, perhaps with good intentions of making them tech-savvy—but without realising the danger it can bring. Within just a few clicks, these innocent minds are exposed to inappropriate content that begins to shape their attitudes and speech. Once such habits form, no amount of moral lectures at school can undo the damage already done at home.

The Decline of Etiquette and Respect

Once upon a time, respect for teachers, elders, and fellow classmates was the foundation of a student’s upbringing. Saying “please,” “thank you,” “sorry,” and showing gratitude and discipline were basic traits of every student. Today, however, many teachers report increasing incidents of backtalk, disobedience, and indifference. This isn’t merely about rebellion or youthfulness—it is a sign of deep-rooted moral decline.

The concept of haya—that inner sense of shame, respect, and consciousness before doing anything wrong—has almost disappeared from students. Be it how they speak, dress, behave, or post on social media, many students today lack the self-awareness and humility that once defined good character. Vulgar language, disrespect for rules, and careless behaviour are normalised. Unfortunately, even role models in movies and social media influencers often promote a lifestyle that encourages disrespect and a lack of self-control.

The Shrinking Role of Teachers

In the past, teachers were considered second parents. They had the authority to discipline, guide, and shape the minds of students. Today, however, with various rules and restrictions, the power of a teacher to influence behaviour has been greatly limited.

Teachers now mostly serve as academic guides or counsellors, and if they try to correct a student’s behaviour, it often results in backlash from parents or administration.

This shift has created a gap between students and moral correction. If students are allowed to carry forward their mistakes without timely correction, they grow into adults who lack emotional intelligence, respect, and social responsibility. The burden of moral upbringing cannot rest solely on the shoulders of teachers anymore. It is a shared responsibility, and most importantly, it begins at home.

The Vital Role of Parents

Parents play the first and most crucial role in instilling values. They are the first teachers. If they fail to guide their children during early childhood, it becomes much harder to correct them later. Teaching basic manners, respect, empathy, gratitude, and the concept of right and wrong should start at home. Restricting screen time, monitoring online content, setting rules for behaviour, and being involved in their children’s emotional world are essential tasks of every parent.

Unfortunately, modern-day parenting often falls short. Many parents are too busy or distracted to have meaningful conversations with their children. This lack of communication leaves children to face their dilemmas alone or turn to the internet for answers. Open and supportive conversations can help uncover what’s troubling a child before they adopt negative habits. Parents must become listeners, mentors, and guardians in a real sense—not just providers of gadgets and comfort.

Religious and Moral Education: A Forgotten Treasure

Another powerful way to build character and manners is through religion. Whether one is Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Christian, or belongs to any other faith, every religion teaches the importance of good behaviour, humility, patience, honesty, and haya. Unfortunately, religious and moral education has taken a backseat in many households. Stories of our prophets, saints, and historical figures used to be told to children to inspire good values.

Now, cartoons and YouTube stars have replaced them.

For Muslim students, the example of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) stands as the perfect guide. His character, or Husn-e-Akhlaq, was a shining example of how to treat others with respect, kindness, and dignity. He taught that a person with good manners will hold a high position on the Day of Judgment, even if they are not the most learned. These teachings are not outdated—they are more necessary now than ever.

Science can make your child a brilliant doctor, but it may not teach them how to behave with a patient with compassion. Education without values is like a body without a soul.

How Can We Restore Manners and Haya?

The solution to this crisis is not simple, but it is not impossible either. It requires collective effort from parents, teachers, and society:

1. Start Early at Home: Teach children from the beginning how to speak respectfully, apologise when wrong, and show kindness. Monitor their use of the internet and explain why certain content is harmful.
2. Limit Unnecessary Exposure: Delay giving children personal phones or restrict the kind of content they can access. Encourage reading, outdoor play, and human interaction over screen time.
3. Religious and Moral Education: Make storytelling a regular part of your home—tell stories of prophets, saints, freedom fighters, and individuals who stood for values.

Let children learn that goodness brings inner peace and respect.

4. Build Communication: Create a healthy relationship with your children. Ask them about their day, feelings, thoughts, and challenges. Guide them without judgment.
5. Support Teachers: Parents must work in harmony with schools and not against them. Support teachers when they correct your child; trust that they want what’s best for them.
6. Be a Role Model: Children imitate what they see. Use respectful language, stay calm during conflict, and act responsibly. They are always watching and learning from you.

Conclusion:

The disappearance of manners and haya in students is a serious concern that affects not only individual families but the future of society as a whole. If we raise a generation that lacks morals, we will soon live in a world where selfishness, disrespect, and dishonesty dominate. Let us not wait for schools to fix this problem. The transformation must begin at home. The future may be challenging, but if we act now with sincerity and effort, we can restore the values that once made humanity kind, respectful, and united.

Let us remind ourselves: True education is not just about degrees, it is about how we treat others. Let us raise not just successful students, but good human beings.

Mir Abbas

mi********@***il.com