In the relentless pursuit of success, we’ve prioritised material gain over emotional well-being, leaving our children longing for connection
In the pursuit of success, we have turned into the worst type of capitalists, both in our personal and professional lives. We evaluate everything, even how we raise our kids, in terms of financial gain. We provide them the expensive gadgets, clothing, and educational opportunities, yet we neglect to teach them the most important lesson of life: love.
A Childhood of Material Promises
Securing their child’s future in terms of money, job, and status is the obsession of today’s parents. Children are taught from an early age to think that material possessions, not emotions, determine success. We lead kids to believe that high-end toys, branded shoes, and lucrative careers are the keys to happiness. Emotional health, love, and care are subordinated. At home, people talk about their education, careers, and financial stability. We hardly ever ask our kids how they’re feeling, what they’re afraid of, or what makes them happy. As a reminder that the world is harsh and that only the fittest survive, we encourage kids to compete instead. Children grow up emotionally detached in this environment when warmth and affection take a backseat.
The Internet Becomes Their Best Friend
Children seek out company elsewhere when they don’t feel emotionally cared for at home. They become their closest friends as a result of using their phones and the internet. The internet only provides an escape; unlike parents, it does not condemn, criticize, or set expectations. Their comfort zones, social media, online gaming, and virtual friendships fill the emotional void left by their families. They feel unloved and unheard at home. However, they discover listeners on the internet, even if such relationships are fleeting or occasionally damaging. This addiction to the digital world is a desperate attempt to find love, approval, and attention, it goes beyond simple amusement.
The Real Problem Isn’t Screen Time, It’s Capitalism
I just came across a Facebook discussion panel where individuals were discussing how to limit kids’ screen use. They expressed concern about excessive use of mobile devices and the internet and offered remedies such as digital detoxes, time limits, and outside activities. However, I think they overlooked the true problem, which is capitalism itself. The majority of screen time conversations centre on symptoms rather than causes. People blame social media, technology, and even kids for becoming “addicted” to screens. However, we hardly ever inquire why kids are using screens in the first place.
The irony is that the same capitalist system that makes parents emotionally unavailable also profits from children’s screen addiction. Tech companies design apps and games to keep children hooked, knowing that their loneliness will drive engagement. Schools and parents push digital learning tools but then complain about excessive screen exposure. The entire advertising industry thrives on making children dependent on virtual entertainment, feeding them endless distractions.
Instead of asking, “How can we reduce screen time?” we should ask, “How can we create a society where children don’t feel the need to escape into screens?”
Even Marriage is a Business Deal
The obsession with material possessions is not limited to childhood, it permeates all phases of life, including marriage. When selecting a life partner for their children, parents today place a higher priority on financial stability than on love, compatibility, and understanding. As if love and respect were less important than income, parents frequently insist that their daughters marry a man who works for the government or has a steady salary. The ideal bride, according to sons, should bring wealth, prestige, or a strong family history. Marriage is reduced to a business agreement, despite the fact that it is meant to be a holy tie founded on friendship and trust.
As a result, many people enter unhappy marriages, bound by financial convenience rather than genuine emotional connection. Then, when these marriages fail or become emotionally suffocating, we blame the younger generation for not knowing how to “adjust” rather than questioning the capitalist mindset that shaped these relationships.
Blaming the Children for Our Own Failures
Then, when these children grow up and start seeking affection elsewhere sometimes in the wrong places we blame them. When they turn to toxic relationships, addiction, or reckless behaviour in search of the love they never received at home, we label them as irresponsible. We fail to see that their actions are a desperate cry for the emotional fulfillment we denied them. We complain that children today are selfish, insensitive, or obsessed with social validation. But who made them this way? If all their lives they were told that success equals wealth and possessions, why should they suddenly believe in love, kindness, and morality?
It’s time to examine yourself. We must start making investments in emotional well-being rather than merely offering material comfort. Have a Conversation with Your Kids: not only about their education and grades, but also about their feelings, aspirations, and anxieties. Make them feel heard. Teach Them the Value of Love: Demonstrate to them via actions that relationships, kindness, and inner serenity are just as important to pleasure as material wealth. The value of spending time with your child outweighs any costly present. More than your gifts, they need your presence. Rather than criticizing kids for spending too much time on screens, consider whether you have provided them an incentive to engage with people in person. Modify the Marriage Mindset: Seek out a life partner who shares your beliefs, respects you, and is emotionally compatible rather than one who is focused on money accounts and pay stubs. We must set an example for our children by prioritizing love over material possessions. Prove to them that connections are more important than money.
The writer is a Medical Officer at PHC Shargole
Dr Fazal Ul Haq Wani
wa*******@***il.com