Construction of old-age homes in our valley has sent shockwaves among commoners, intellectuals and soulful souls of our society. It means we have begun to restrict space for our old parents in our homes. The move has brought humiliation and ignominy to our collective conscience, and our heads are bowed in shame. Devotees and disciples of Lal-Arifa, Nund Reshi and Sheikh Hamza Makhdoom have shunned the path of love, compassion and empathy. Souls of these benefactors must be wailing and lamenting to see their successors falling to the lowest of low. Inhabitants of Pir-vaer (land of saints) have neglected and forgotten the great ethos and revered traditions of their ancestors. Values, morals and prized principles were the cardinal pillars of our rich cultural heritage and glorious past. But, now, things have changed drastically. Values and virtues have vanished into thin air. Our hearts have become as rigid as rocks, and God no more resides therein. We are driven by material pursuits, and consequently, we have lost the vision to see things through the true human perspective.
Relationships give prominence to Homo-sapiens in the animal kingdom, because human beings are supposed to maintain kinship and mutual love. But, relationships no longer hold the same flavour, charm and spirit, as they used to, till a few years back. Now, bitterness of jealousy and egotism has spoilt them. Mutual love and sympathy lay the foundation of healthy relationships, but our hearts are now devoid of these potions. The kernel of relationships is altogether missing. As such, we hardly give any importance to them; even filial ones have become hollow and symbolic only.
Selfishness has replaced selflessness. The secret glue binding humans together in relationships lies not in understanding but in love and empathy. Once you remove love from the relationship, it becomes naught. A relationship based upon understanding is nothing but a mere compromise, not a bond. Greed, avarice and jealousy have blackened our hearts to the extent that we have lost the ability to feel the essence of relationships. Separation between siblings becomes inevitable at one time, but it should not be at the cost of the quintessence of their relationship. Conflicts between siblings over property issues are growing alarmingly. Married sisters are hardly considered legal heirs of their parents, and are mostly denied their legitimate rights in ancestral properties. Brothers have now forgotten to invite their sisters on festive occasions like Eid and Diwali.
Though human souls are hinged together through different types of relationships, but parents and their offspring are connected through the most beautiful bond of love and affection. We would not have been what we are today if our parents had not been so selfless and kind to us. I don’t know how God looks like, but parents are undoubtedly an incarnation of God on earth. I won’t exaggerate to call parents an attribute of God. Parents are an epitome of compassion, love and empathy. They not only love and sympathise with us, they are the only people who love and sympathise with us unconditionally. The rest of the sympathies are subject to our behaviour, status, health, wealth and how we treat others; but our parents rise above these conditions and benchmarks. Our parents leave no stone unturned to place the best possible comforts under our feet. A nap in the lap of the mother, and a ride on the shoulders of the father, are far better than a golden cradle and an expensive Ferrari.
God leaves us at the mercy of our parents when we don’t know how to eat, wash, walk and talk. The mother suckles her progeny, bothering least about her own health. And the father works tirelessly to win comforts and joys for his children. Our vexed and buffoonish gestures never irk our parents; rather, they derive pleasure from it. They work till their bones become too brittle to endure the shocks of life. Once they grow old and turn weak, they become toddlers with grey hair, bent backs, weak legs, trembling hands and fumbling voices. Old age means exhaustion of control over body. We stammer, stutter, crawl and cry during childhood and old age. Wearing diaper at both the stages of our lives is the proof of our haplessness and helplessness. Our passivity and infirmity is evident in both the cases. So, we must treat our old parents the way they treated us when we were toddlers. Even Allah SWT has ordered us to behave well with our parents. The holy Quran says, “Do good to your parents. If anyone of them or both of them reach old-age, do not say to them ‘Uff’ (a word or expression of contempt or disdain), do not scold them, and address them with deferential words” (Surah Al-Isra).
Allah SWT has sent a special prayer from heavens, and we have been put under strict instructions to chant the prayer repeatedly. The prayer reads, “O Lord, have mercy upon them (my parents) as they brought me up (when I was small)”. Prophet Muhammad SAW said, “Wish both my parents or at least my mother would have been alive! If I had been offering Esha prayers, and my mother would call me: Mohammad, I would have left my prayers midway to respond to my mother’s call”. This is what is our religious obligation towards our parents. We owe a great debt to these altruistic angels for their love, affection and care for us.
But, alas! We have begun to ill treat our parents. We have begun to imitate aliens and strangers who neither believe in the retributive powers of God nor hold human values in sanctity. Money and materialism has emptied our hearts of emotions, feelings and thoughtfulness. We are driven by selfish traits and myopic vision. Establishing old-age homes in our valley is an ugly blot on our so-called educational and social renaissance. We should not brag and boast about the creation of these detention centres; rather, it is highly pitiable and condemnable to see our growing intolerance towards our parents. We should mourn and introspect on our ways of living. We have become so cruel, callous and insensitive that we have proudly produced modern cages to incarcerate our old parents who deserve our love, care and affection.
Old people crave to spend time with their children and grandchildren. Our children groom well in the company of their grandparents. But, alas! We deprive them of the cherished upbringing. Our children learn prized lessons of life in the company of their grandparents. The onus is all of us to say no to old-age homes, and let our parents stay with us for the rest of their lives. Our children will treat us the way we will treat our parents. Let’s save our own old-age from the wrath of old-age homes!

The writer is a teacher and columnist. He can be reached at [email protected]

Mushtaq Hurra