A few decades ago, the greatest fear was failure. Today, for many young people, the greater fear is being ordinary. In a world where every achievement becomes the starting point for the next expectation, and social media amplifies unrealistic comparisons, a generation struggles to celebrate its own progress. The result is a deep sense of inadequacy, even among those leading meaningful and productive lives.
Mohammad Arfat Wani
A few decades ago, the greatest fear of most people was failure. Today, for many young people, the greater fear is something else entirely: being ordinary.
This fear does not emerge from poverty, conflict or lack of opportunity alone. It grows quietly in classrooms, workplaces, homes and on the screens we carry in our pockets. It influences career choices, personal relationships and even the way individuals evaluate their own worth. It is one of the defining anxieties of modern life, yet it remains largely unspoken.
Across India, including Kashmir, young people are growing up in an environment shaped by unprecedented expectations. They are told to dream big, think big and achieve big. There is nothing inherently wrong with such advice. Ambition has always been an important force for personal and social progress. The problem begins when a meaningful life is presented as something that must also be extraordinary.
For many students, life increasingly resembles a race with no visible finish line. Academic success is followed by pressure to secure admission into prestigious institutions. Admission is followed by pressure to build an impressive career. Career growth is followed by expectations of financial success, social recognition and public visibility. Every achievement quickly becomes the starting point for the next expectation.
The result is a generation that often struggles to celebrate its own progress.
A student who performs well may feel inadequate because someone else performed better. A young professional with stable employment may feel unsuccessful because another individual appears more accomplished online. A person may possess education, health, supportive relationships and meaningful work, yet continue to believe that something essential is missing.
Social media has amplified this phenomenon in ways previous generations never experienced. Human beings have always compared themselves with others. What is new is the scale. A young person in a small town is no longer comparing himself with neighbours or classmates alone. He is comparing his life with thousands of carefully edited success stories appearing on his screen every day.
These comparisons are rarely fair.
People compare their daily realities with other people’s highlights. They compare their struggles with someone else’s achievements. They compare years of effort with moments of recognition. Unsurprisingly, many emerge from this process feeling dissatisfied with lives that are, by any reasonable standard, meaningful and productive.
This culture of comparison has contributed to a subtle but important shift in how success is understood. Increasingly, visibility is mistaken for value. Recognition is mistaken for significance. The assumption that a successful life must be publicly admired has become deeply embedded in modern thinking.
Yet history suggests otherwise.
However, most of those people who have made a positive impact on societies have never been celebrities. Teachers who motivated their students, health care professionals who helped their community members, parents who brought up responsible kids, farmers who sustained the food supply of their nations, these people have made their contribution without attracting anyone’s attention, but it was no less significant.
Health of a society does not only depend on its outstanding results, but also on its ordinary commitments.
Unfortunately, modern culture finds it hard to accept this truth. Within the framework of a society which values nothing but exceptional results, there is much room for underrating of ordinary life and people’s commitment to it. Thus, the significance of the latter is not discussed enough in public media.
This situation leads to the formation of some unrealistic expectations and to making many people feel inadequate in relation to their own existence.
There are even worse results of such approach to life since the more people start judging themselves based on their achievements, the more problems with mental well-being they may face.
The answer is not to discourage ambition. Societies need ambitious individuals. Progress depends upon innovation, creativity and aspiration. However, ambition needs to be combined with perspective. Young people need to be motivated to aim for excellence without thinking that their worth is defined by being better than all others.
A healthy society celebrates achievement, but it also respects contentment. It recognises that success is not a single destination but a deeply personal experience. It understands that dignity is not reserved for the exceptional few.
Perhaps one of the most important lessons our generation must learn is that there is nothing shameful about an ordinary life. A life devoted to family, service, honesty, learning and community may never attract widespread attention, but it remains deeply significant.
As modern societies persist on the path to growth and achievement, it will serve them well to recall a basic fact: the world is not made great just by outstanding people doing outstanding things, but by ordinary people doing ordinary things in an outstanding way.
In an era where distinction is becoming more and more common, this fact has become more relevant than ever before.
The writer is a social activist and nursing student. He writes on social issues, culture, and public concerns “with the aim of raising awareness and inspiring positive change”.
wa*******@***il.com