What does it change when wise people enter our lives?
Younis Ahmad Kaloo
We talk very little now, as little as there is seldom any reflection afterwards. Obviously, one cannot reflect on what was not said or heard. I remember many a conversation I had with one of my closest friends since childhood, on roads, in neighbouring mulberry orchards, playgrounds, and paddy fields, especially the unexpectedly spoken words and phrases that made those conversations lively and engaging. What stood out from those conversations was how I felt and how I thought my friend felt while we were talking. We would go on walking and talking for miles and hours without being bothered by anything around us. That doesn’t happen anymore.
Living away from your home, your family, and friends for far too long, a decade almost in my case, has its own downsides. It is not that life away from home is not good at all, but it is that ‘switch’ to a new way of life that, in your heart of hearts, you refuse to accept or struggle to adapt to.
“Why can’t you just pack up and leave,” I hear telling myself sometimes, “if it is that bad?” Well, it is not that simple when you, kind of, get used to this new life, its comfort and the sense of financial security it brings with it, even when deep down you know there is none. Life is unpredictable, and I always see it that way.
You often come across stories in books or hear people share their life-changing experiences on television/internet talk shows and podcasts, wondering if there will ever be a similar moment in your life that makes all the difference. You expect to run into people who might, at least, stay a while, listen to you, hug and pat you on the back, and tell you that it is okay to be in a situation where you are and that you are going to come out of it stronger and better. On the contrary, you meet people who come with their own baggage and dump it in front of you, without you being actually ready to deal with it.
This shows, therefore, that we, as humans, share that innate need to be heard, to be understood, and most importantly, to be sympathised with. Those are the expectations, and when they are not met, we get to live a life that we don’t like, where doing things, even mechanically, feels like we are carrying a mountain on our shoulders. And none of us is capable of doing that for too long. Or maybe there are people around us who do it every day without getting to rant about it. In fact, they even go a step further and try to bring some respite to the otherwise chaotic lives of the people.
I remember a story narrated by Rumi that I came across recently in a book. It is about a wise man who spoke many languages and helped resolve an issue that had four men fighting among themselves. These four strangers, who did not speak each other’s language, were given a single coin by a wealthy man and told to share it amongst themselves. The reason they fought with each other was that they thought they wanted to buy different things with the same coin, since none of them understood each other’s language. In reality, they all wanted to buy the same thing: grapes. It took a man who knew the languages of these men to understand what they wanted and amicably resolve the matter.
We need such people in our lives to help us see through petty matters that tie us down, deprive us of peace and quiet in our day-to-day lives, and block our view of what our lives could be if we understood there is more to life than being bogged down by our short-sightedness, fears and anxieties.
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