Khalil Gibran said, “Though you seek in garments the freedom of privacy, you may find in them a harness and a chain.” These words struck me with a flash of insight and made me uncomfortable. They made me wonder about something I had never considered before: how clothes, a simple means of shelter, encumber and bind us. A flash of this realisation struck me just a few days ago during Eid, when I was reeling under the storm of wanting new, branded clothes.
At the age of 13, I felt very strongly that Eid could only be special if I got new clothes — not just any clothes, but branded ones. I thought that with a label, I would be strong, respected, and even deserving. I remember choosing to plead with my parents as this new outfit somehow became tied to my self-definition and my sense of belonging. But now, from this vantage point in my life, I see that I was looking for something outside of myself to give me worth. I didn’t need a new outfit; what I needed to do was work on accepting myself.
With the absorption of Gibran’s words, my whole perception started shifting. What if clothing were instead the very means by which we were bound? Instead of giving expression to our real selves, what if, in pursuing these labels and symbols, we were actually selling our true selves? And what if the pursuit of the right clothes was a search for approval — one in search of the validation that should have come from within?
I’ve seen people saving every last penny to buy branded clothes just for that extra bit of confidence, attractiveness, or to amplify their uniqueness. Others spend hours scrolling through e-commerce apps, renting clothes to wear just once. Some will even go to the extent of ripping off an online store just to secure a dress for an occasion. But really, what makes them tick?
What if someone wears the same outfit again and again? What if someone wore flip-flops and trousers absolutely everywhere? Wouldn’t this person wear what makes him or her comfortable? Wouldn’t they wear something underneath the fabric for comfort? Why criticise? What does this say about them?
Clothes have also become a symbol of religion. In many societies, the degree to which a person is perceived as religious is often judged by their clothing. The girl wearing a burqa or the boy in a white thobe or kurta-pyjama with a topi is commonly seen as a more religious person compared with someone else not dressed in that way. Along the same lines, a girl in a saree with a bindi over a covered head or a boy with a saffron gamcha on and a long tilak is also considered more religious compared to those who do not dress that way.
Almost as if we are trying to impress others through fabric or tags. Is that dignity?
I have heard, “fake it till you make it.” But again — why fake it? Why not be who we are? If people are uncomfortable or shy because of how we dress, were they ever our friends?
Dude, to me, as long as a dress is clean, simple, and respectful, that’s all it should be. Clothes are made to cover us — and not to announce one’s gender, wealth, or identity. Just why can’t a boy wear pink without being subjected to the waste of society’s norms? Who says certain colours or styles are women-only or that men must wear certain things in order to be men? Why do we judge based on clothing choices? Where did all these stereotypes and cultural norms pick up their breath?
What it really is is not about the pink fabric or the name of the brand of shirt; rather, it is about the person in the costume. A boy who wants to wear pink — a skirt, for that matter — any colour or style with absolute freedom — should not be labelled or judged. A girl should be permitted to wear baggy trousers or baggy shirts, or anything at all that would hold her comfort, never be put down for any way of feminine expression. Clothing shouldn’t delineate who we are, and the stereotypes of the way we present ourselves should never constrain us.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t sport designer or trendy clothes; we can absolutely do that. But we must do it for ourselves — think of the people. Equally as bad, in turn, we had better not judge others for what they wear!
Let’s remember this: It is character, behaviour, and knowledge that embody dignity in its true sense — nothing on your shirt says that.
Shah Zeeshan Fazil
sh*********************@***il.com