There is a deeply ingrained aspect of human nature that leads us to crave what we don’t have and undervalue what we already possess. This drives us into an endless chase of external rewards, always believing the grass is greener elsewhere. Constantly looking outside ourselves, we grow averse to familiarity, always desiring for what we’ve never had. This never-ending search leaves us missing the value in what we already possess, which yields a persistent sense of discontentment.
The perpetual chase for approval from others traps us in a cycle of wanting and never feeling satisfied. We’re often taught that happiness is found in the next thing we buy, the next goal we reach, or the next big moment. But continually looking for more results in disappointment and emptiness.
In ‘Revolutionary Road’ by Richard Yates, April and Frank Wheeler, a married couple, devote themselves completely to longing for an idealized life in Paris. They believe that achieving this dream will bring them lasting happiness and peace. However, their dissatisfaction with suburban life leads them to ignore the love and stability they already have present in their lives. This unfulfilled desire for something better eventually results in tragic consequences, accentuating the harsh reality that the continuous chase of unattainable ideals can invite catastrophic outcomes.
True strength isn’t about gathering things from the outside, it’s about building resilience within. To break free from yearning to always want, start by acquainting yourself with the patterns that propel your desires, and accept that everything is transitory.
In his literary masterpiece ‘The Great Gatsby’, F. Scott Fitzgerald lays emphasis on the dangers of unquenchable desire through his protagonist, Jay Gatsby. Despite being fabulously wealthy, Gatsby inflicts pain and suffering upon himself by obsessively pursuing his old love, Daisy Buchanan, who is now married to Tom Buchanan. Gatsby throws extravagant parties at his mansion in West Egg, Long Island, expecting to rekindle Daisy’s love, but his efforts bore no fruits. In his quest to win her back, he involves those around him, causing harm to everyone that comes in his way. At last, Gatsby’s obsessive chase leads him to cross fatal bounds, which claims him his life in the end. This story shows how unrestrained wanting can lead to trouble, leaving readers with an important lesson to focus on what is within reach
In ‘The Untethered Soul’, Michael A. Singer writes extensively about how most people stay fixated on what they don’t have, overlooking what they do have, a mindset that he believes is a perfect recipe for unhappiness. The book offers a slew of lessons that guide readers to move away from constant chasing and towards a life of contentment by finding joy in what’s already theirs, rather than feeling trapped by what they think is missing. He reminds us that real happiness isn’t found by chasing things, but by cultivating it within ourselves and letting go of unnecessary desires.
Appreciate the present: it’s the only thing we truly have. Let go of the past with its regrets, and stop worrying about the future and its uncertainty. Focus on today, and you’ll find peace that lives within. This doesn’t mean giving up or withdrawing from life. It’s about changing your perspective. Revel in simple things: a sunrise, a meaningful talk, or a moment of quiet reflection. Learn to find beauty in the everyday.
Adopting this approach breeds a sense of deep contentment. You’ll no longer be swayed by what lies outside of you. In the stillness, you’ll find freedom. Even if the world around you changes, your inner peace will take a tight hold.
The writer is a short story writer and book reviewer
By Zahoor Farooq
za**************@***il.com