Children are not born bad or evil; they are shaped by their environment. The true essence of family, state, and society is forged at home. When parents refrain from abusive behaviour and ensure children feel valued, the foundation for a better future is laid.
Tragic deaths and incidents that are reported in the media are reminders of the pervasive issue of domestic violence in our society. According to a 2019–2021 National Family Health Survey (NFHS), 29.3% of married Indian women between the ages of 18 and 49 have experienced domestic or sexual violence i.e. 1 in 3 women. The survey also found that 3.1% of pregnant women aged 18 to 49 have suffered physical violence during their pregnancy.
According to a 2023 study by Cambridge University Press, 29 out of every 1,000 men in India experience spousal violence i.e. 2.9%. The study also found that the prevalence of violence against husbands is higher in nuclear families (34/1,000) than in non-nuclear families (28/1,000). Additionally, men who live in poorer households are more likely to experience violence.
In 2021, a study by BMC Women’s Health Journal dedicated to the health and well-being of women analysed the prevalence of domestic violence in India between 2001 and 2018. It found J&K among the top 5 states reporting a 160% increase in the reported crime rate under cruelty by husbands and relatives.
The concern here is not justifying which party is at higher risk/ vulnerable to the violence but, exploring the other invisible side of the violent cycle i.e. the children, who become silent sufferers. Issues of domestic violence, have been considered a private matter, which means keeping 50% of the population away from political intervention without recognizing the repercussions of domestic violence extended far beyond the immediate victims. Among the most affected and overlooked are the children who grow up in violent homes.
These silent sufferers live through extreme developmental, emotional and psychological impacts that can shape their entire lives. Such children experience a range of intense emotions, from fear, anxiety, and confusion to helplessness. There is a constant tension, volatility and unpredictability in their immediate environment that lands them in chronic stress. Unlike adults, children often lack the defence mechanisms to cope with situations like social coping where they can seek support from others to manage stress and adversity, such as talking to a friend or family member, participating in a support group, or seeking professional help. Emotion-focused coping is where they can manage feelings about a stressor rather than trying to change the stressor directly. Avoidance, where they can try not to think, feel or do something about the situation.
Children lack overall problem-solving skills making them more vulnerable, hence internalising their trauma leading to long-term issues such as depression, anxiety, disorders, and emotional instability.
Witnessing violence can disrupt a child’s sense of safety and security. Behaviourally, children exposed to domestic violence may exhibit signs of aggression, thinking violence is the normal way to resolve conflicts or achieve goals. Such children face difficulty in learning and have limited social skills while the social isolation and alienation make them more susceptible to extremist ideologies that may provide a sense of belonging and purpose to them. Such children may exhibit violent, risky or delinquent behaviour and are likely to engage in violent activities as a rebellion or expression of their inner turmoil.
On the other hand, vulnerable individuals often feel marginalised or disenfranchised and hence may get easily recruited by extremist groups because such individuals seek a sense of identity and purpose. Chronic exposure to violence diminishes the sense of empathy among children and increases the possibility of harmful actions against others. Academic performance of such children often suffers as well making them more vulnerable to exploitation.
Early interventions are important in mitigating these risks and helping children develop a coping mechanism and positive trajectory life paths. Addressing the extremity of children in violent homes requires a multifarious approach where awareness is the first step, society must recognize that children are not mere witnesses but direct victims of domestic violence. This will involve public education campaigns, training for educators, school teaching and non-teaching staff with whom children spend much time, and community outreach programs that can help identify and support affected children.
Schools, social services and mental health professionals must collaborate to create safe spaces where children can express their experiences and emotions and the problem will be revealed in whatever way they might be suffering. Identifying such cases, can further be referred to and linked to other redressing departments like women’s commission, police stations, women’s cells and special cells for women and children or can be taken to community heads or voluntary groups, civil societies and NGOs. Hence this will involve and accelerate the whole system of administration in the welfare of children and families and at large the nation.