While time can indeed heal physical wounds, the same may not be true for emotional pain, which can linger and even intensify over time
An old adage goes “Time is the best healer. Emily Williams counterclaims “Time they say is a great healer, but in this case, I am not sure that is true.”Also Iris Murdoch in ‘The Black Prince’ comes up with the same notion,” I know time doesn’t heal. That’s the silliest idea of all.” So it is high time we reconsider this adage now. How far is it true? Is time an overrated healer? Well in terms of physical pain, it can be validated beyond all peradventure whereas it can be a discussion whilst talking about emotional pain. Maybe, time does heal the wounds but not the scars.
Nowadays, many psychologists too come up with the same idea that time plays the role of a great doctor. And it is quite true that by and large with the passing of time and without human interventions, everything seems normal and wounds of any kind start to heal. Every passing moment subsides our pain and we tend to forget everything. William Sydney Porter opines that “Life is made up of sobs, sniffles and smiles” so in this regard we can say that life is all about vicissitudes and both the weal and woe have their own turns. But the maxim is not completely true because many people deal with trauma or emotional pain from a yore in the past which negatively impacts their lives throughout. Long after a traumatic event, pestering thoughts can intrude, nightmares can give us anxious sweats and waves of anger and defeat can gobble up a person. More serious trouble can arise if the pain seems to get better at face value but it has merely taken a different avatar or form. Even in places, our loved ones or for that matter, any cohort surrounding us becomes the punch bag or target for the projection of our trauma.
There is no denying that tears and strong pain have more intensity in the initial phases but it indubitably leaves traces of resentment, anger and bitterness over the long run. Moreover, sometimes time can just aggravate the situation. While at other instances, we discover the problems at a later stage in our life irrespective of the mo of befalling when we have failed to clock on them or just have underestimated them which leads to complicating the emotional disorder progressively, increasing its intensity, and further one’s loss of self-esteem. So our ability to deal with a painful situation has little to do with time and more to do with changing the way we think about the experience. This will be the healing process of the mind in real terms.
According to a licensed psychologist and owner of the Baltimore Therapy Group, Heather Z. Lyons, PhD, time essentially equates to opportunity. Therefore, how someone heals over time ultimately depends on how they decide to use that opportunity to shape their present and future circumstances. Emotional healing is entirely conscious and we are the ones in control of our healing. We can deeply seek answers to questions such as if the experience has changed us for the better, what good can it lead to etc. By these ways of reevaluation, we can reorganise our thoughts regarding a situation. So we should take active control over our emotions and train our body to resume normal functioning.
Once a person understands that we are worthy of love and deserve self-love as much as we love other people in our lives, we can do wonders. We need to understand that self-love set with healthy boundaries is not selfishness at all. One needs to let go of fantasies and live in the moment. Taking the possible real action that is in our control and seems even well-nigh nearest to resolution can be the way out. We can’t wait for days to pass and years to elapse with an expectation and a forlorn hope that passing time will bring on some miracle.
We need to get up, stay firm and make efforts to change our situation emotionally, mentally and physically. Getting over emotional pain is not easy, it colors our mood completely and even makes our easy tasks seem difficult but we need to stand for ourselves irrespective of contemplating on power of passing years.