Our children are growing up in digitally distracted environments, competitive cultures, and emotionally stressed households. Our responsibility is about creating a safe zone for our children with unconditional love—turning a house into a true home. It’s about becoming more conscious human beings while raising one.
Saleem Yousuf Rather
Parenting is one of the most underrated jobs. It is not limited by time or by the monotony of singular, repetitive assignments. It is a timeless responsibility. It amazes you even as it exhausts you. It moulds you even as you mould another soul. You become and unbecome. It wrecks your fragile nerves, yet strengthens your resolve. In the quiet chaos of raising a child, you lose parts of yourself only to discover deeper, wiser versions waiting beneath.
Parenting is as old as human civilisation itself. Human societies have journeyed from hunting-gathering tribes to the dawn of Industry 4.0. Throughout this long passage of history, parenting, too, has evolved — from an instinct of survival to an art of conscious nurturing. It is a long-drawn process shaped by culture, struggle, technology, and time.
From teaching children how to survive in forests to teaching them how to survive in a world of screens and chatbots, parents’ responsibilities have transformed profoundly. Parenting has travelled from collective village enterprises, where an entire community raised a child, to the quiet burdens often carried by a single parent today. We have witnessed it all -survival parenting, disciplinary parenting, aspirational parenting, and now conscious parenting that seeks not merely obedient children, but emotionally secure and thoughtful human beings.
Conscious parenting is not merely about raising children. It’s a profound opportunity for self-awareness and inner transformation for the parent. Consider the profound lesson from Islamic tradition. Abu Hurairah reported that Prophet Muhammad (SAW) kissed his grandson Al-Hasan (RA) while a Bedouin, Al-Aqra ibn Habis, watched in surprise. AL-Aqra remarked, “I have ten children, and I have never kissed any of them. “The Prophet (SAW) looked at him and said, “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.”( Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim). Another narration contains the wording: “What can I do for you if Allah has removed mercy from your heart? “Mercy, therefore, is not merely an emotion; it’s a cultivated character. We need to shun emotional coldness.
Many parents unconsciously try to make children fulfil their dreams, reflect their family status and follow fixed expectations. It creates emotional pressure and loss of individuality. Here, Khalil Gibran becomes relevant. Here is his insight:
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of
tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not
even in your dreams.
Conscious parenting helps us to accept a child’s unique temperament, encouraging authenticity and avoiding comparison. Our children need emotional availability, attention and presence rather than expensive gifts, constant correction and perfect parenting techniques. Connection is more powerful than control. By choosing connection over control, we protect our children from “peer orientation”—the tendency to look to their friends for a sense of belonging because the home environment feels emotionally distant. The inexperience of peers needs replacement by the steady anchor of adult wisdom.
Our children are growing up in digitally distracted environments, competitive cultures and emotionally stressed households. Our responsibility becomes multifold. It is about creating a safe zone for our children with unconditional love. Turning a house into a true home. It’s not about raising a perfect child. In the words of Dr Shefali Tsabary, “It’s about becoming more conscious human beings while raising one.”
The writer is a teacher at Boys Higher Secondary School, Zachaldara, Rajwar, Kupwara
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