Unmarried women suffer isolation and depression; unmarried men carry shame and loneliness. Parents drain lifetime savings. Dowry is not tradition but ‘organised exploitation’. This generation must break the cycle before it breaks society.
Navreena Mushtaq
Kashmir cries about injustice and dignity, but inside our own homes, we practice a cruelty so normalised that we refuse to call it a crime. Dowry is not a “tradition.” It is not “culture.” It is economic violence, silently destroying families, delaying marriages, and emotionally killing an entire generation of young men and women.
And the most shameful part?
We all know it exists.
We all know it’s wrong.
Yet we continue.
Dowry Is Not a Demand-It Is Blackmail
In Kashmir, dowry rarely comes with written conditions. It comes wrapped in silence, expectations, and indirect threats:
“Our boy is well settled.”
“We are a respectable family,”
“You know how weddings are done here.”
These are not statements. They are warnings.
Parents of daughters understand the message clearly: Pay up, or lose the proposal. This is not a marriage negotiation-it is social extortion.
And when families cannot meet expectations, engagements collapse quietly. No police report. No public outrage. Just another girl added to the list of “still waiting.”
Girls Are Not Unmarried by Choice-They Are Priced Out
Let us be brutally honest: many girls in Kashmir are unmarried because their families cannot afford the price society has placed on marriage.
This is not about lack of beauty, education, or character. It is about money.
Parents spend decades saving, not for education, not for security, but to buy acceptance for their daughters. Even then, it is often not enough.
As age increases, society becomes crueller. The same people who demanded dowry now whisper:
“She is getting old.”
“Why didn’t her parents marry her earlier?”
First, you create the problem.
Then, you shame the victim.
This is not tradition. This is moral bankruptcy.
Dowry Is Also Destroying Boys-But No One Talks About It
The myth that boys benefit from dowry is a lie.
In reality, many Kashmiri men are trapped, judged, and rejected because they do not fit the financial fantasy created by society. In reality, many Kashmiri men are trapped, judged, and rejected because they do not fit the financial fantasy created by society.
A man without a government job is “unstable.”
A man without property is “not settled.”
A man who wants a simple nikah is “not serious.”
Men are no longer evaluated by integrity, faith, or responsibility, but by salary slips and family assets.
As a result, thousands of men remain unmarried, silently humiliated, told to “work harder” while the goalpost keeps moving.
This system doesn’t empower men.
It turns them into commodities.
Both Families Suffer-But Society Enjoys the Show
Dowry does not unite families. It bleeds them dry.
Girls’ families:
Sell land
Take loans
Drain lifetime savings
Live in debt for years
Boys’ families:
Feel forced to host grand receptions
Compete socially
Borrow money to “match status”
Carry financial stress long after the wedding ends
Two families suffer.
Society applauds.
Instagram posts go viral.
Reality goes bankrupt.
Dowry Is a Slap on the Face of Islam
Let’s stop pretending this has anything to do with religion.
Islam condemns dowry. Islam honours Mehr. Islam blesses simple marriages. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) warned against extravagance.
Yet in Kashmir, a Muslim-majority society, we openly violate these principles and hide behind culture.
We perform nikah in mosques and oppression in banquet halls.
If dowry were truly Islamic, poverty would not delay marriage. If faith guided us, character would matter more than cash.
But faith has been replaced by status anxiety.
The Silent Casualties: Mental Health and Loneliness
The cost of dowry is not just financial-it is psychological.
Unmarried women live with:
Constant self-doubt
Social isolation
Depression
Emotional exhaustion
Unmarried men suffer:
Shame
Anger
Loneliness
A sense of failure imposed by society
Parents live with:
Guilt Fear Sleepless nights
The pain of watching their children wait.
This is how societies break-not with noise, but with silence.
We Are Raising a Generation Afraid of Marriage
Young people don’t dream of companionship anymore. They fear:
Costs
Marriage in Kashmir is no longer a hope; it is pressure.
Expectations
Social judgment
When marriage becomes a financial war, love becomes collateral damage.
And when marriage is delayed indefinitely, society pays the price in emotional instability, broken homes, and growing frustration.
Why This Crime Continues
Dowry survives because:
We fear society more than God
We value appearances over humanity
We stay silent to protect our “image”
We normalise cruelty in the name of tradition
The biggest lie we tell ourselves is: “This is how it has always been. ”
This is how injustice survives.
Enough Is Enough: This Generation Must Say No
Ending dowry does not require laws alone. It requires moral rebellion.
Boys must reject dowry publicly, not secretly.
Parents must stop competing through weddings.
Religious leaders must speak louder.
Society must stop shaming simplicity.
A simple nikah is not an embarrassment.
A dowry-free marriage is not a weakness.
It is courage.
Conclusion: A Society That Sells Marriage Will Lose Its Soul
Dowry in Kashmir is not a woman’s issue. It is not a man’s issue.
It is a human issue.
Every unmarried girl is waiting because her parents can’t afford to support her.
Every unmarried boy is rejected because he isn’t rich enough.
Every family is drowning in debt to satisfy society.
This is not a tradition worth preserving.
This is a disease worth eradicating.
If we continue to price marriages, we will raise a generation priced out of dignity.
A society that sells marriage will eventually lose love, faith, and its soul.
Dowry Is Not Tradition-It Is Organised Exploitation.”
“Marriage is a Bond, Not a Business Deal.”
“Stop Selling Grooms. Stop Pricing Brides.”
“Dowry Delays Marriage, Destroys Families.”
“When Marriage Has a Price Tag, Humanity Pays.”
Break the Dowry System Before It Breaks a Generation.”
Mehr Is Sunnah. Dowry is Oppression.”
“Islam Honours Marriage-Society Exploits it.”
“Dowry Has No Place in Faith or Humanity.”
The writer is a Class 12 Medical Student from KIE Anantnag
ma*******@***il.com