Embracing the art of letting go helps us navigate life’s inevitable challenges, freeing us from emotional burdens and leading to fulfillment and growth
Life comes with unexpected events. Sometimes we rise and fall, shine and fade, attain happiness, and then enter gloom. This is the perfect manifestation of life. We let in the rise, shine, happiness, and every good enthusiastically but are always unwilling to confront the reverse of these. Even if we face such scenarios, we miserably fail to come out of them. In other words, these happenings leave a festering sore, and we lose much in this process, not only physically but also mentally. These keep on itching us constantly and it doesn’t blink.
In reality, we are born naive, without any idea of ownership and control. But as we grow up, the seed of ownership and control begins to sprout within us. It takes the form of a firm tree with deep roots and makes us believe we can own and control anything. With this mental apprehension, the loss of anyone or anything, including people exiting from our lives, any abuse we become subject to, etc., gnaws us to a greater extent as it erodes our self-created concept and perception of ownership and control.
Similarly, we take most of the things for granted. We have set a notion of permanence and do not even think about the impermanence of creation. We do not conform to the fact that whosoever, whatsoever, came to the world or in your life has to go. And because of this, the pain of loss takes charge of our being.
We often turn a blind eye to the fact that we can neither stop the occurrence of anything destined to occur nor can we hold a person or thing in our life forcibly. Being unconcerned about this bitter reality, we make ourselves vulnerable to torment.
However, we humans are bestowed with the power of letting go. If used potentially, we can minimize the inevitable noxious outcome of any untoward happening in life.
Letting go can be explained in myriad ways. It means to stop holding or gripping and to forget or care about something or someone that contributes to your excruciating distress. It also means to stop thinking about or being disappointed about the past. Letting go is not about being unemotional or careless; rather, it is a way to unburden yourself of negative energy. It is an art that helps a person cruise through the labyrinth of life in the best way possible while crushing all shackles and obstacles.
Letting go seems to be an arduous task. It’s easy, however. What makes it complicated is our weird clinging to a specific situation, something, or someone we are obsessed with. When we adhere or attach to anything or people beyond certain limits and do not want to detach, letting go becomes an uphill task. If we grasp a rope tightly, it may bruise our hands. If we hold a stone in our hand firmly for some time, steadily, it may strain our muscles and nerves. The solution to the problem lies in releasing the rope or stone. In the same vein, when we hang on to exasperating events, people, memories, or any other thing, we bruise ourselves, we obstruct our growth, we devalue ourselves, we play havoc with physical and mental health in general, and the marvellous creation of God in particular.
In these circumstances, all that we need is brain rewiring. We need to think that life is an amalgamation of positivity and negativity. While we smilingly welcome every positive aspect, we should grow our spine to embrace its negative facets bravely if not grinningly.
There is a need to concede that we own and control nothing. We are actors merely to act on this great stage — the world. And we have to act as per divine instructions. To put it bluntly, we have to experience both good and bad. And sanity is in cherishing the good; bearing and letting go of the bad.
Also, we cannot be insensitive to the impermanence of this world. Exuberance, progress, love, etc. can vanish anytime sooner or later and might be replaced by the opposite and vice versa. This is the law of nature. This is what we have pledged to bear before landing on this planet. As we receive pleasure from good moments, we should learn to submit to bad ones. This will unarguably aid us to let them go.
Had we been armoured to undo things especially unhealthily, we could have reason to mourn. But we aren’t. We cannot control the age-induced discolouration or fall of hair that we maintain with care since childhood, let alone destiny. So what is the purpose of descending into the abyss of anguish by overthinking or entwining ourselves around the incident of ill luck or misfortune? It was predetermined and inescapable; therefore, letting it go is only the way out.
Furthermore, is a doleful, unyielding, and toxic fixation on anything or anyone helping us or harming us? We must ask ourselves, why should we allow any inconvenient fixation to drain our energy? Are we meant to spin around someone or something purposelessly? What would axing our own feet furnish us? Don’t we deserve to live a fulfilled life with happiness and dignity? Accept the answer, be decisive, and let go of people who impede your growth, and distance you from your purpose, and remember, those people can never add good to your life.
To live this beautiful unreturnable life fully, meaningfully, and purposefully, disengaging emotionally from unwholesome situations — that is to say, letting go is supremely important. Pinpoint what could make you fail at life and then learn to let that go — even if you feel strongly about that. Your life is more important than anything else. Appreciate it.
The writer is a columnist
By Zeeshan Rasool Khan
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