In search of real happiness

In search of real happiness

When I was little, the biggest source of joy for me was having a grand collection of accessories, sneakers and clothes. Then it changed to having good grades in class. Then I grew up more and the biggest source of happiness became being praised by people. Now that I am here at this point of my life these things no longer make me happy. Actually I don’t know what happiness means anymore or where to find it. It’s all because my definition of happiness was wrong. I was wrong in searching for it in materialistic things. When I was in high school I saw a weird race going on where everyone was trying to be the best. I also joined this race and thought others were my competitors. But no, I was wrong. They were not competitors, they were my fellows. Now I know my biggest competitor is myself. I was my biggest enemy. Unfortunately I never tried to overcome the fears that were already in my mind. My mind used to tell me lies, it used to tell me I was nothing. That’s why even after working hard I was not able to be the best, due to which I lost my confidence. I became that dumb girl who couldn’t even utter a single word for herself.
Even now I don’t know what real happiness is but I do know what gives me happiness. Happiness for me now is being able to express myself, being able to be better than my old self, and writing is the only way by which I can achieve all these things. It’s a form of speaking without really speaking. I don’t have to utter a single word but still people hear me. My words or my thoughts are not very precious but they do express me.
I am so thankful to god that he gave me the courage to at least try. I am not yet proficient, I haven’t still developed the ability, but I am trying for it.
This complex world, full of extraordinary minds, os changing at a rapid pace and in order to match that pace we have somehow lost that inner peace. Our mental horizon is widening day by day but the inner peace is shrinking. In this complex scenario where no one has the time to get out of the small world of mobile phone, the only way to battle my tears is to sit on a prayer mat and talk to Allah, who is there always for me. Even if I don’t please him very often, he never fails to make me comfortable. There are times when I am so disappointed with myself, with this world, but whenever I turn to Allah, he never turns his back on me. The love of people is just ordinary and fake, and in this fake world I believe His presence is the only thing that’s real. It’s just because of Him that I am here now. I have come so far and dealt with a lot of obstacles but I have realised they only make me stronger. It’s not just me but all of us; many people might have realised that, too. When we wake up in the morning we are never the same as we were yesterday. Something changes in us everyday.
Real happiness for me now is being grateful for what we have and not always being in search of more. The real pleasure of life is in gratitude, in being thankful for every small thing that we have. Never let desires take away your peace. Life is short, like a book. On some pages we we are brave, on some pages we are cowards. The best part of this book is that it never gets stuck in any one page but keeps turning. Good time will pass, bad time will pass, too. Nothing will remain constant. We have to stop expecting things to be in a certain way; the more we expect, the more we get upset. The only thing I keep telling myself is, :Be happy, because this life will end anyway. So it’s better to live it and not just breathe. It’s better to talk to Allah than expect people to listen to us. It’s better to try then to just wait. It’s better to love yourself than to expect others to love you. It’s better to search for happiness in every small thing. It’s better to see the good in bad and ignore the bad in good.

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