My dear beloved, it goes without saying that marriages are made in heaven. In Islam, marriage is a sacred contract and a religious duty. It is also a social commitment. Husband and wife are supposed to live in peace, procreate and nurture children. They begin their journey in the spirit of love, cooperation, harmony and endurance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, serenity, contentment and comfort in the company of each other. Almighty Allah has described this relationship as one that brings love, harmony, reliance and compassion.
And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] (Qur’an 30:21)
The Islamic marriage is based on the need to attain and maintain tranquility in society. Thus, the family, which comes into being as a result of marriage, is the basic foundation of society. The beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has spelled out crystal clear to believers that to stay on the true path, they must marry. The Prophet (pbuh) has said, “There is no foundation that has been built in Islam more loved by Allah than marriage.” This Hadith shows the importance of marriage in Islam. The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society. It allows its members to be productive, constructive, helping, encouraging, righteous, and competing with one another in good works. The righteous couple is the pillar, the cornerstone of the Muslim family. The Prophet (pbuh) said: “This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman.”
Indeed, a righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (swt) can give to a man. My dear companion, as you know there are enough Quranic verses and sayings of our beloved Prophet (pbuh) and much has been written on the institution of marriage and family. But, in the materialistic rat race, the very foundations have been ruined, which has damaged our social fabric. The reason is that we take marriage as a mere pleasure, but fail to understand that it is more than that. It is about commitment, responsibility, trust and understanding. Marriage is one of the greatest blessings in life, and choosing one’s spouse is one of the most crucial decisions one can ever make. According to Martin Luther, “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” As the saying goes, “When two people become one by way of marriage, it is not only their hearts that are united, but their minds and souls as well.”
My dear spouse, now we have chosen each other and have promised to live as husband and wife till death does us apart. As David Meurer has said, “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” Tomorrow we may face any challenge or hardship in life, but we must be all set to face it bravely. Let me convey to you through this letter that life is not a bed of roses; we should learn to accept also the thorns of life. As someone has put it nicely, “No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share an umbrella and survive a storm together.” Also, you might have gone through the verse of the glorious Quran where almighty Allah (SWT) compares the husband and wife to garments for one another: “They (your wives) are clothing (covering) for you and you too are a clothing (covering) for them.” (Qur’an 02:187) .
In fact, we dress to beautify and prettify ourselves, but the above verse has a figurative meaning as well. Like dress covers any defects (scar or burn mark etc) that may have on our body, same role has to play between husband and wife to each other. If one among them lacks something or has some sort of deficiency, other should cover up that and not to expose to others. The couple must hide each other’s shortcomings and weaknesses and protect the honor, respect and integrity to one another.
My dear love, I am on cloud nine that I got the companion of my choice. You have your own individuality, personality and identity. You must remain you. First be loyal to yourself then others. You are braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Let’s be faithful to one another and be like a two sincere and true friends. Always bear in mind that coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress and working together is a success. De facto, we have accepted each other on the basis of mutual understanding, similar beliefs and common goal. To sum up, you are as important and special for me as daffodils was for Wordsworth, Maud Gonne was for Yeats, Fanny Brown was for Keats, Layla was for Majnun, Juliet was for Romeo and Habba Khatoon was for Yousuf. Thus, if you live to be a hundred, I wish to live a hundred minus one, so I never have to live without you. Thank you once again for becoming my better half and completing my half Deen. Be happy, stay blessed.
Tailpiece: It is not easy finding a spouse, but do trust in Allah, ask him to bless you with a pious partner who helps you in elevating your Deen and status in the hereafter and Insha Allah you are not just blessed for this life but the next one too! May Allah bless all those who are married, looking to get married, have the intention of marrying and may he put love and mercy between you and your spouse’s hearts. Aameen.