HALAAT-E-HAZIRA

HALAAT-E-HAZIRA

Alexa, what is comedy?
The quality of being amusing or making people laugh…
Thank you, Alexa. Where can I find this comedy?
Everywhere you look. Or just turn on your TV, sir!

The old man began surfing through the TV channels. On channel 456 he found a group of people sitting around a table screaming aloud all together. The man thought, this is what Alexa had suggested. After watching for a while, the man started enjoying it. He laughed and kept on laughing till his wife showed up, annoyed at the commotion. Seeing his wife furious, he gave her a warm welcome and made her sit beside him. Then he started to explain what the programme was about, all the while keeping an eye on her face.
“You see that man sitting in the middle of the table? He has invited all these comedians here but is not letting them speak. But the others are determined to speak. You see that bearded person sitting on the left? He was kept in isolation for many months by his boss because his boss feared he might lead a trade union strike, because the boss was going to abrogate the bonus. And guess what the man missed the most during his isolation: having lunch with his father.
“Now look at that big burly man sitting next to the trade union man. His illiterate boss feared he was a threat to the company, even though he had faithfully served the company for many years. So he fired him without notice. But the real joke is that he hired him back after some months. Oh dear, this is real fun going on here.
“Now look at that suited-booted wealthy-looking man on the extreme left, a real contender for the next head of the company branch. He wrote a mail to the boss, got a print-out of it, booked a flight to the head office, and handed it personally to the boss. The mail read:
‘Dear Sir, kindly restore the internet of our branch office. I had to buy an airplane ticket to reach you to just say this.
Regards,
Branch Head contender.’
“The man returned from the head office and assured the employees that the mail has been handed over to the boss, who has fully assured that internet will be coming in the next few weeks.
“And see that one in the black coat, who seems to be quite satisfied and is just keeping his focus on the monthly salary he is getting. He is trying to secure even more his job security. As you know, the boss has recently fired many a lot.
“And dear, do you see that only lady on the panel – how quiet and isolated and betrayed she sits. She was an employee who did all that the boss asked, and still got fired. Nowadays she is confused with her mathematical calculations and keeps murmuring, ‘Percentage aaesa mee theekh gamech? (Had I got my percentage right?) I met 95% of my target and still the boss fired me?’
“That’s not all. A few other panelists are currently in quarantine, not because of Covid-19 but because they been fired by their boss for being too loyal to him.”
At this, the wife started laughing. Their son came and asked, “Why are you both laughing?” The father replied, “Come join us, we are enjoying a great comedy.” The son said, “Ah, papa! This is not comedy, this is a news channel. The programme that you are watching is called Halaat-e-Hazira.”

DISCLAIMER: All characters and events are real. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely intentional. If anybody feels sick of this, kindly visit your doctor but suggestions are welcome at [email protected]

The Professor Senior Research Fellow Kashmir Comedy Circus

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