When marriage becomes a burden of torture, not a bond of trust, society must end its silence, uphold Islamic teachings of compassion, and protect the dignity of every woman
Danish Ashraf Khan
Marriage is meant to be a bond of love, trust, and companionship. It is supposed to bring two people together so they can support each other and build a peaceful and happy life. But sadly, in our society today, marriage often becomes a burden, especially for women. Whether it is an arranged marriage or a love marriage, the real test begins after the wedding. Many women face pain, mental torture, and emotional suffering inside the four walls of their homes. This has become such a common problem that people no longer consider it shocking or unusual, and that is the most heartbreaking part.
In every home, a daughter grows up with love, care, and protection. She is treated like a blessing by her parents and her siblings. But when she gets married, her entire life changes. She enters a new home with hope in her heart and trust in her husband and his family. She expects kindness, understanding, and support. Instead, some women face behaviour that breaks their spirit. They are insulted, humiliated, controlled, and sometimes even physically hurt. A woman who was once full of life slowly becomes silent because the pain inside her grows every day.
The people who behave like this often forget a very simple truth. The woman they are hurting is someone’s daughter. She is someone’s sister. She grew up in a home where she was loved. She grew up in a home where she had dreams. But after marriage, some men treat her as if she has no feelings, no respect, and no rights. A person who has a heart cannot do this. A person who has faith cannot do this. Allah has given us a mind to understand what is right and what is wrong. He has told us clearly in the Quran to treat women with kindness. Yet many people ignore these teachings completely.
What is worse is that society supports these wrong behaviours by remaining silent. When a woman speaks about her suffering, she is told to adjust. She is told to be patient. She is told that every home has problems. But how long can a woman tolerate disrespect and cruelty? When she cries at night, and no one hears her. She hides her pain every day just to keep the family together. When she becomes so hopeless that she starts losing her mental stability. This is not a life. This is not marriage. This is torture.
Recently, I spoke to a friend who is going through this kind of hardship. Her voice was filled with pain. Her heart was broken, and she had no strength left. Listening to her made me realise how serious this issue has become in our society. We proudly say we follow Islam. We proudly say we know the teachings of the Quran. Yet we fail to follow the most basic instruction. Do not hurt a woman. Do not treat her like a burden. Marriage is a responsibility, not a playground for ego and cruelty.
In Kashmir, which is known as paradise on earth, many families are attached to their religion. Children grow up listening to Quranic verses. They grow up learning about kindness and compassion. Yet cases of domestic violence, mental torture, and emotional abuse continue to rise. How can we call ourselves a civilised society when our women are not safe even in their own homes? A home should be a place of comfort. It should never be a place of fear.
If a man is not ready for marriage, he should not marry at all. There is no shame in waiting. There is no shame in accepting that he is not mature enough. But there is shame in destroying someone’s life just because he wanted to satisfy society or fulfil family pressure. If a man is not mentally ready to respect, care, and protect his wife, then it is better for him to stay single. The woman he is meant to marry will find someone else who will value her. But if he marries without understanding the responsibility, he will ruin her peace, her future, and even her mental health.
Women are the backbone of every family. They cook. They clean. They take care of the home. They support the husband. They raise the children. They sacrifice their comfort every day. Yet their sacrifices are often taken for granted. Men think it is normal. They think it is expected. But they never truly understand how much pressure a woman carries on her shoulders. She hides her tears just to keep the house running. She fights her own battles silently. And still, she is treated like she owes something to the world.
We need to wake up as a society. We need to recognise that marriage should never be a prison for a woman. It should never break her dignity or her dreams. We need to teach young men that marriage is not about power. It is about respect. It is about understanding. It is about standing beside your wife and protecting her. If you cannot do that, you have no right to marry.
The time has come to raise our voices. Silence is not helping anyone. Every story of pain should be heard. Every woman who is suffering should be supported. We must change our mindset. We must stop normalising cruelty. We must remind ourselves that the teachings of Islam are built on compassion, not on violence. The Prophet Muhammad taught us to treat women with honour. Every person who abuses a woman is going against his teachings.
If I have the power of writing, I will continue to speak on this issue. I want my words to reach every corner of society. I want people to understand that women deserve love, not pain. They deserve respect, not fear. They deserve a home full of peace, not a home full of tears. The woman in your house may not be your own daughter, but she is someone else’s daughter. She is someone else’s sister. Treat her with care. Protect her dignity. Understand her feelings. Do not forget that she is a human being with a heart.
This cruelty must end. This mindset must change. Our society needs healing. Our families need awareness. Our men need to learn responsibility. And our women need to be treated with honour. If we work together, we can remove this darkness. We can create a society where marriages are blessings and not burdens. We can build a future where no woman cries silently behind closed doors. Let us take this step today. Let us promise ourselves to stand for what is right and protect the dignity of every woman in our society.
The writer is a teacher
kh*****************@***il.com