“Marriage is a part of my Sunnah and whosoever does not follow my Sunnah has nothing to do with me.”[Sahih Bukhari]
Marriage (wedding) imparts modesty and sense of honor and it guards a person
Marriage protects a person from sexual filth and excitement and devilish thoughts and acts. It is also the most effective means of nursing love and affection. Marriage not only gives solace and peace to human beings but it is also a source and preservation of human race. Furthermore, one who does not wed is deprived of the reward and remunerations of following the wedding Sunnah. Without wedding religion remains incomplete. As Beloved Prophet (SAW) has said, “When a person weds, he completes half portion of his religion. Hence he must fear Allah for the rest half of the religion.” [Baihaqi]
a) The first and the foremost regulations pertaining to wedding is: Offer and Acceptance between man and a woman without which the marriage is not solemnized:
c) Along with religiosity, a kindred too is necessary for consideration;
d) Along with family lineage, appearance and wealth is not objectionable. As the Beloved Prophet (SAW) has said, “A woman is married for her four credentials: for her wealth and property, or for her family lineage or for her beauty or for her religiousness. [O man!] let your hands be smeared with dust! You must succeed in wedding a religious woman.” [Sahih Bukhari]
e) After the wedding, its announcement must be made with some permissible means;
f) Presence of guardian [wali] at the time of wedding is compulsory, as the Beloved Prophet (PBUH) has said, “In the absence of the Guardian, wedding is not solemnized”.[Tirmidhi];
Giving of dower to wife is obligatory. Allah says in Sura Nissa, aayat:24, “So far whatever you enjoy of marriage from them, give them their due compensation as an obligation.” With mutual agreement of the parties, giving of dower at the time of wedding [prompt dower] or after the wedding [deferred dower] , both are permissible. There is neither the upper limit of the dower nor the lower. It can be even the mountain of gold or even an iron ring.
At the time of wedding, giving the sermon as we do before the jumah prayer is Masnoon [according to the Prophet’s(SAW) practice].
Holding of Walima dinner is in pursuance of the Sunnah. A walima dinner where common people are not invited and only distinguished guests are entertained is the worst kind of dinner. And, one who refuses dinner invitation without any reason is disobedient of Allah and His Messenger. As The Beloved Prophet [SAW] has said: “Among the walima dinners the worst kind is that in which persons wishing to attend are not invited and those who would refuse are invited. The person who did not accept the invitation has disobeyed Allah and His Apostle. [Sahih Muslim]
PERMISSIBE MATTERS IN WEDDING:-
a) To wed in the month of Ramadhan is totally permissible;
b) Performing the wedding and sending the daughter as a bride on separate occasions is permissible as it is proved from the nikah ofBeloved Prophet [PBUH] and mother Aaisha [RA];
c) Marrying a woman whether older or younger than a man is permissible as it is proven from the marriage of mother Khadija [RA] with the Beloved Prophet [PBUH] where she was 15 years older than Prophet [PBUH].
a) Making a wedding offer to a woman who is already married is not allowed;
b) Marrying a divorced or a widow woman during her iddat period is not allowed;
a) The beloved Prophet [PBUH] has said: “When anyone of you intended to go to his wife, he should say: In the name of ALLAH, O ALLAH! Keep us away from the satan and also keep the satan away from that thing which you are going to gift us.” Hence if any offspring is destined to husband and wife at the time of sharing the bed then the satan will not ever be able to cause any harm to it. [Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim];
b) Disclosing each others’ secrets after sharing the bed is not allowed;
c) Cohabiting during the time of menstruation and nifaas is not permissible.
And those are the limits set by ALLAH . And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah has certainly wronged himself ( Al Quran 65:1)
All of you might have gone through these instructions before also, I have just reminded you once again including my own self. Hope all of us will abide by the rules of shariah if we but want to prosper and attain felicity in this world as well as in the Hereafter. Delay in the marriages today has lead to many of the evil consequences. Our unislamic conditions in the marriage and following the western and other cultures are forcing our youth towards immorality and waywardness. Unfortunately our brothers search for a working lady who is very much younger. Man is the Qawwam of the woman. It is his responsibility to earn. Try to make nikah so simple that it paves no way for the adultery and fornication to exist.
— The author is a teacher at a Madrassa and is pursuing a degree in Islamic Studies at the University of Kashmir. She can be reached at: email@example.com