Parenting a Child

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By Mir Umar

Life is full of challenges. Be it positive ones or negative setbacks, one has to remain patient enough to face these changes. In the voyage of life, a person encounters with lot of different challenges like winds of uncertainty strike against one’s boat and the water tries to beat the buoyancy of life. But, if one accompanies a strong affection and dedication in his/her heart in travelling towards the shore, then only fruitful result bears.
There are multiple challenges which one has to face in his/her life but only the strongest face but the weakest fear. The world remembers only strongest, who with their continuous beat, remain alive in the verses of history. One of the important aspects of child’s endeavor depends on parenting because at some point of time in life, either one appreciates his/her parents or disguises them. So, what role does parenting play in child’s life?
Parenting plays an important role in the overall development of a child. We generally describe it with the term ‘taking care’ or ‘looking after’ but these are the important aspects of it but not the terms defining parenting. Parents are gifts from God. Without the efforts of parents, a child is no less than a lame duck. It is the bilateral struggle of mother and father, who together put away their desires to fulfill the desires of their children. They guide children in the journey of their lives. Apart from all materialistic things, the love from parents is a major contributor in the character of a child. Be it psychological or behavioral, mortal or immortal, love is necessary for the right upbringing of child.
One of the major concerns among psychologists today is, ‘why the children are driven towards suicides and drugs where they find a partial relief to their stresses’? Researchers suggest that the key role that parenting has to play is missing from the life of such stressed children. The way our youth are detached from their parents is mainly due to absence of love and understanding. Some parents think that their job is only to provide money and living comfort and then their job ends. But they are wrong, as already mentioned that the job of parenting is beyond that. Firstly, if it was all money that mattered then we would have not witnessed suicides among the rich. If it all had meant only taking care then our youths would not have been driven towards social evils to find a partial solace.
If I can define a parent in simple terms, I would put it as, ‘a parent is a friend, a teacher, a counselor and an orator who loves unconditionally’. Parenting in today’s world is regarded as the toughest job. A true parent is found very rarely nowadays. The extinction has already set its phase and all of us are now busy in the unnecessary race for the cause of materialism. Between the conflict of interests and our busy schedule race, love has long ago fled away from our lives. So, have been the children affected? If we take a look on the persons existing or have existed, who have been marked as successful persons in their respective fields of life, we find a major role of parents in their accomplishments. Their parents share a contributory success also. If their parents sacrificed their dreams and comforts for their children, so have been their children successful in future. In this way we find that parenting plays an effective role in the developmental life of a child.
During the initial phases of a child’s life, a parent needs to be enough sensitive that he/she could sense what’s happening all around. Turning eyes away from your child will not work. Childhood is a major stage where parents have to be friendly towards their children. During this stage a child gains enough sensitivity which lasts in them in their whole life. If a child’s lively matter in this stage is taken seriously then in the later stage parenting becomes comfortable and easy. But, what we see is that parents turn violent to their children which have serious consequences in their both physical and mental lives. I must say if violence like taunting and beating rule in this stage then the role of parenting has failed. It is here where love has to come in. However, if parenting fails to address the issues of a child then schools have a role to play which can yield fruitful results. So, at this stage parents should behave like a friend to their children so that a child feels the real essence of parenting rather depriving them of basic love.
With the passage of time comes the adulthood where parenting becomes more complex and intricate. If, at this stage, an adult is well understood then bond of love becomes stronger and rarer. For every teenager, it’s a crucial phase and for parents too, it’s not less than any hard task which they have to perform. But, here it needs efficiency. Most parents fail in this stage. At this stage, most of the teenagers are driven towards social evils. Not only the boys but also girls are embedded in this circle of evils. This is the stage where understanding plays its major part. I never meant that a parent has to agree to all the wishes of their children but to disagree to their right demands is injustice. That’s why whenever a child finds loneliness and temperament around, he/she finds no option other than suicides. It’s a wrong doing but have we realized that what it feels to them rather we issue big statements to contribute our part in the grieving. The question here rises is: ‘Have we failed to understand them’ as parents, as teachers and as a society? Yes is the answer.
Parenting in real sense means to get involved in the various aspects of children from their perspective. To see things from their eyes, to think from their vulnerable mind and to get involved in the things the way they get, most importantly to love them. Just to be in their heart, travel in their veins and understand them fully because half knowledge is itself ignorance. In the greater journey of life, be like a shadow for them. In the problems, that they face there is no better counselor than a parent. Don’t beat them, just love and listen to their grievances. So, it’s also parent’s journey to get recognized as a ‘Good Parent’.

—The author is a student of English Literature. He can be reached at: [email protected]

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