By Jawaaz Ahmad
What is the second chance for you? Is it a mistake to make another mistake? Do you clean the slate? Does that mean you promise not to make a mistake? False. We cannot erase our past or reverse our mistakes. We cannot promise the future either. As they say “what was done”. We cannot go back in time and fix things. We cannot forget about personal growth.
There are many reasons why we want to have a second chance. You may want to fix something or make contact with someone. This can be due to some sort of oversight on the career path. Or, you made mistakes in the previous relationship and want to resume the relationship. Whatever it is, you want another opportunity and you want to make some changes in yourself. In fact, the second chance is only the chance.
Or, maybe someone else is asking you for a second chance? True. Some people do not deserve a second chance. You can be right. However, giving someone a second chance does not mean that they eliminate their bad behaviour, no matter what. That does not mean you’ll forget what happened. And, that does not mean that you give the person who cursed you the freedom to repeat it all. Second chances are often to set the right boundaries, refine relationships, or communicate with each other, and increase trust. Of course, all the circumstances are different, and sometimes you cannot give or receive a second chance. It depends on what has happened, but after time and introspection you will determine whether to give someone a second chance.
Growing up, many of us are told to give someone a second chance. Since then, we’ve experienced real pain, so it’s hard for us to give this person an opportunity. As a little boy, I wondered why I, as the one who was hurt, should give everything. I denied that the perpetrator should be the one who tries and apologizes. It was easy to be stubborn and not leave things because my heart still hurt. However, I notice that even a little boy who, if persistently does not give a second chance, still feels sad and upset, and I feel a bit overcrowded. I realize that by offering someone a second chance, I feel more relaxed and happy.
It may seem pointless, but apparently the second chance is for us. This is an opportunity for self-development. The second opportunity opens us by creating opportunities in ourselves and our lives. The second chance is just a transition to a new beginning. The second chance starts with your past performance. You are responsible for your previous actions. And now you want to make some changes. You collect a lot of information about your past events and you are ready to let go of the different emotions you have around the experience. Instead of getting stuck, we can move freely in development and interpersonal situations.
Forgiveness must be part of the process of giving someone another chance. Forgiveness does not mean that you will give a person out of jail without a card. Or that you give up or give in. This is an opportunity to forgive yourself and others. This is an opportunity to love and trust in yourself and others. We either let go or get away from fear of pain. Find peace and love by releasing. Remember that life is not about finding what is good or bad. We all make mistakes and we experience failure. Our lives become richer and fuller with the variety of events in our lives. Life does not progress straight. Much like sailing, in which you connect with the wind, our road is not always direct. With the second chance we are brought to compassion, mercy and love for ourselves and ourselves.
No one else gets a chance. Only we can make the decision to take or create a second chance. Giving someone a chance does not mean that you “lost”, as if life was a game in which we maintain a score. We are just reaching for the other. The second chance is self-healing. This is an opportunity for self-development. The second chance must come from us and must be intentional. Second chance is a new beginning to succeed in life and life.
As long as we have life, we will be able to see the second chance at any moment. Life gives us plenty of chances. This is the second chance to make changes in ourselves. We have every moment to hope again, be true to ourselves and share our love for others. We can give a second chance because we humans cannot survive without it. The second chance is how we go forward and sustain our lives. Just in a moment. How we use every moment as another chance for life is for us. The second chance gives us the opportunity to re-focus and redirect. Our chance to change is now at the moment.
—The author is currently pursuing his Tech in VLSI Design and Embedded Systems from Visveswaraya Technological University. He can be reached at: [email protected]