By Mir Umer
“There is nothing left in me. I have no desire left nor do I desire for anything. All I want is to die so that my soul could rest in peace. I have seen only miseries. I want to die, die and die….” I heard these words from an old aged woman, laden with tears narrating her story to her fellow companions in nearby street. Her face was full of wrinkles and her eyes reflected deep agony and pain. When the old women left, the curious ladies talked about the conversation with her to each other. The problem was that she had three sons and each of them was living separately leaving her and her husband in a separate room –suffering miserably. This story has almost become thematic now: children nowadays are forcibly separating their parents from them. In tough and vulnerable times, when parents need us the most, we push them to live a life of agony. This concern is becoming more common than that of any other issue prevailing in our society. What is wrong with our society? If anything happens, we push our parents to live separate. On petty issues, we make division with our parents. It’s an issue so much so that probably each household has drowned in it.
Parents are like candles which burn down themselves to give light to their children. We cannot ignore the auspicious role of parents in making child’s image, character and his/her success. Parents sacrifice their happiness for their children. Instead of keeping themselves happy, they prefer to keep their children happy first. They work day and night in order to bring their children to that stage in which we are living today. They keep no desires empty for their children. But when the children need to prove back their love; they are pushed to the separate four walls of the room. It’s really unfortunate what we are seeing today. On the basis of petty family conflicts, we make a division and that division makes us worst in our self. Family conflicts are very common today. These family conflicts divide a mother from a son, a brother from a brother and parents from their children. Has our conscience died? Are we losing our moral values? And where we are heading?
Surely, we have lost everything to these family conflicts. When a family conflict forms a base in homes, it only brings us away from light. People often speak venom against each other and are left with nothing but ignorance. Often these family conflicts leave parents to suffer in their old age. The worst thing for a child is when his/her mother (in pain) speaks notorious words against them. It doesn’t matter how much we have achieved and what our dreams are, unless and until our parents happiness is connected to that dream, it will remain as a dream for ever. Some columnists often try to compare Kashmir with the West in sports, education and what not. Coming to the issue, there are old age homes in the west for parents who have been abandoned by their children. Time is not far, when there will be similar old age homes in Kashmir because the condition from which old aged people suffer brings us to that point. Because that love, patience, support that should have been in place for our old age people is missing in our homes.
Most of the precious time and love is lost due to these family conflicts. Love takes the form of hatred and we are often accompanied by loneliness. We often try to define our society as so called ‘modernized society’ but the truth is that there is a hidden devil residing inside. What the devil says, we follow not letting the things to settle down. From our offices to our homes, we pretend to be the people of values. The artificial behavior used to convince others often let people to darkness. It’s the pseudo behavior of people we often look at. In the name of modernization, we have lost our moral values. It can be seen from the family conflicts which often takes the shape of blood.
There should be light in our hearts. Love for parents and elders should reside in hearts which don’t need any mirror for reflection. Values should be in our way of work and that makes us valuable to others. Problems are everywhere but our attitude towards problem makes the difference. We need to rethink about matters and hold our conscience and soul back and ask our self that what we are doing with our old aged people and parents today, we might face the same from our own children in future. What can you do is think, think and just think…
—The author is a student of Literature. He can be reached at: email@example.com