Marriage is an important institution and must be taken seriously. A number of evils have crept into this important institution. However, much has been said and written on the evils, which have been eating into the vitals of the society. But the problem, which has resulted in dissolution of hundreds of marriages and reduced the spouses to psychological wretch, has not been addressed for unknown reasons. While the parents and relatives enquire about the character, financial status and family background of prospective spouses, nobody seems interested in knowing whether the prospective husband is potent, or, whether the would be wife could conceive. The results are obvious. When the spouses finally come to know about the hard realities, they accuse each other of cheating. Finally the two families go to war and the marriage is dissolved. There should be some mechanism to prevent such incidents, rather accidents in future.
A lady doctor got married a few years ago. On the first night of the marriage, the bride came to know about the impotency of her husband. She reported the matter to her mother. Both sides raised a hue and cry and the humiliated doctor (her husband) left for Gulf. The lady doctor, according to her father, has been left here to suffer. The aggrieved father approached the police and accused the doctor of cheating him and his daughter. The police did not register an FIR. According to the police, this was the first case of its kind. A preliminary enquiry was ordered and that is it. There seems much weight in the statement of the complainant that the accused being a professional must have been aware of the problem but still opted to tie the knot. The Ulema, in such cases give some time to the husband to get himself cured. After the prescribed time if the disability is not cured, it becomes a valid ground for the dissolution of marriage. But why should such accidents take place at all?
Kashmir has been passing through difficult times for the past two and half decades. Psychiatric ailments are common. Perpetual tension has rendered many a youth impotent. However, this is temporary and can be cured if timely medical advice is sought. The person suffering from this disability is always aware of the problem but due to social compulsions conceals the vital information. It is this type of people who fail to consummate the marriage thus causing problems to them and to the innocent bride. As mentioned, this disability can be cured. There is, therefore, no reason for such people to panic. They can lead a normal life but they must not even think of marriage unless and until an expert allows them. This is for their own good and for the betterment of the bride and the two families. But how can this problem be checked?
Usually the two families go for comprehensive enquiries before contracting the marriage. However, before making such enquiries, the parents of the prospective spouses must ensure that their wards are not suffering from impotency or infertility. In fact, they must ensure a detailed medical examination of their wards before contracting their marriage. This alone can save them from embarrassment. There is no harm in it. The two families nurture evils in the name of upholding customs and traditions. If they are not ashamed of asking for dowry, haziri, cars and expensive gifts, they should not hesitate to know about the medical fitness of their wards.