Two good friends of Sheru’s live in the Love Nest. Before you get Sheru wrong, Sheru wants to clarify: the Love Nest is not a Love Nest but a houseboat called Love Nest in the Nigeen Lake.
Sheru’s good friends are from India, but Sheru loves them nevertheless. That does not mean that Sheru hates India, or the Indians. But Pakistan continues to be his favourite team.
Like Kashmiris, Sheru’s these good friends wear pheran and winter boots. They adore the Love Nest, naturally, so much so that they take off their boots before stepping in. Something to do with purity.
Therefore, one of them lost her, or his… boots to a dog which, Sheru believes, must have been a feminine canine (can’t use the proper noun because Maneka Gandhi has longer arms than law). And besides, to paraphrase Oliver Goldsmith, who stoops to conquer?
Sheru believes no one in Kashmir, not even canines, be they masculine or feminine, sleeps with an empty stomach, because Kashmiris have so much food that they throw most of it into the streets.
The feminine canine in question prowls in Nigeen, the land of some of Kashmir’s richest families. So non-veg fare has never been a problem on the streets, particularly after dark.
But the feminine canine mistook Sheru’s friend’s boots for the real thing.
The boots were black, but envy makes one see green, sorry red …as in meat.
The feminine canine in question must have tired of leftovers from Nigeen’s rich.
In which homes, the lady-of-the-house,or the khatoon-e-khana, rarely cooks. The menial job is left to the khaansama, who turns it into khana kharab, in both phonetic senses, and thereafter out of the house and into the street.
If the story about the boots, the Love Nest, and the feminine canine has gone around, khawateen-e-khana have food for thought, which, evidently is not even fit for dogs, irrespective of gender.
But for their careless ways, Sheru’s friends would never have been inconvenienced in the Love Nest.
Imagine street food so bad that boots appear more appetizing.
If the feminine canine suffered a stomach ache after the illicit meal, Maneka Gandhi must rush in.
khaatoon-e-khana must be booked for cruelty to animals, as there is no law against littering on the streets.