Naaz Gayi Naar

The phrase eluded even Sheru’s phenomenal vocabulary. naaz ther Sheru had heard of, and naar chapaat and naar tchaapun he knows only too well, but naaz gayi naar?

naar chapaat, according to Zareef Ahmad Zareef, is used in reference to an extremely beautiful woman, and naar tchaapun too has similar connotations, while naaz ther would mean a certain delicateness, or nazuki, in the gentle gender.

naaz gayi naar, as it turned out, was the sage and philosophic response of a husband recovering from the most recent blast of fury from his short-tempered wife.

Sheru does not like people, especially women, who are short tempered.  Such women wreak havoc with the family when they become saas (mother-in-law).  In the bad old times, they would keep bahu on her toes all the time. But times have changed, and so have bahus. The modern bahu may accept dictation for some time, but when saas crosses the line, she reacts, at times violently, and the saas has to reframe her strategy.

Anyway, Sheru has always advised married individuals not to forget sending flowers to their mothers’-in-law on the birthday of their spouse.  The mother-in-law has to be kept in good humour. When she says that she likes a particular necklace, the bahu must immediately hand it over, bearing in mind that the necklace will ultimately go to her zaam.

Sheru knows the art of taming the saas and is ready to share this valuable information with all victims.  A few preliminary steps: if you have an unmarried zaam, make friends with her. Give her gifts occasionally and show interest in her marriage.

And if the zaam is married, take your husband along and pay her regular visits.  The saas will turn into molten wax. A woman cares for her son-in-law more than she does for her own son. She expects her son to look after his sister and jeeju (brother-in-law).

There is so much more to the art of dealing with the unavoidable complication called mother-in-law. This much was free of cost. For further counsel, Sheru commands handsome compensation.